Lance_Zuma
01-23-2005, 02:15 PM
XONA PUBLISHING COMPANY
New York City, NY
January, 23 2005
For immediate release:
The XONA PUBLISHING COMPANY is pleased to announce what is sure to become a national best seller by America's favorite and greatest telephone masturbator, Bill O'Reilly. His newest book, "Telephone Sex Masturbation Techniques for Christian Conservatives" is sure to be a must read for every sexually dysfunctional individual in America today.
Masturbator Bill, as he is know at FOX NEWS, covers every aspect of telephone sex masturbation through 20 chapters and 749 pages of penis grabbing excitement.
In Chapter one, Masturbator Bill tells how he began jerking-off on the telephone as a small boy while talking to people he would randomly call. Even as a small toddler, Masturbator Bill have a fantastic sexual imagination, and was constantly jerking away as he verbally explored the debts of his sexually dysfunctional mind with a passion that most young boys reserved for sports and other child like activities.
Chapter 10 will be of special interest to cell phone users who want to engage in telephone sex while masturbating as they drive their cars. Masturbator Bill has developed the "O'Reilly Car Jerk-Off Method" that is sure to appeal to today's auto commuter who often finds it very difficult to engage in masturbation while driving a car and talking on their cell phone to the object of their lust. After thousands of man-hours of car telephone sex, and countless accidents, Masturbator Bill successfully self-taught himself to drive his car and engage in telephone sex as he masturbates in even the most horrendous traffic conditions.
Chapter 12 is devoted to the children of America. In this chapter, Jerk-off Bill explains what is proper and acceptable for youngsters who wish to engage in telephone sex before they reach the age of legal consent. This will be of special interest Christian Conservative families who are concerned about the moral well being of their children who must live in a country inhabited by liberal homosexual and amoral types of children.
And, for all you Rush Limbaugh types with very small wee-wees, chapter 15 will be the one that talks directly to you. Jerk-Off O'Reilly explains in step-by-step detail, with full color illustrations, how to use a microscope and tweezers to get your twig of a penis "standing tall" and spewing forth its glory as you talk away on the telephone.
For all you Bill O'Reilly want-to-bees, chapter 17 will be an absolute must read. In this chapter Stroke-Away Bill explains in detail how to successfully fight and buy-off any individual who may charge you with sexual harassment. And remember, none of this is theory, but the actual procedures that Jerk-Off Bill has successfully used to avoid prosecution for his sexually deviant behavior.
Telephone Sex Masturbation Techniques for Christian conservatives is sure to become the standard for telephone sex in America today. Stop by your favorite bookstore and grab a copy, but hurry as the demand for this latest book from Jerk-Off Bill O'Reilly is expected to be enormous.
New York City, NY
January, 23 2005
For immediate release:
The XONA PUBLISHING COMPANY is pleased to announce what is sure to become a national best seller by America's favorite and greatest telephone masturbator, Bill O'Reilly. His newest book, "Telephone Sex Masturbation Techniques for Christian Conservatives" is sure to be a must read for every sexually dysfunctional individual in America today.
Masturbator Bill, as he is know at FOX NEWS, covers every aspect of telephone sex masturbation through 20 chapters and 749 pages of penis grabbing excitement.
In Chapter one, Masturbator Bill tells how he began jerking-off on the telephone as a small boy while talking to people he would randomly call. Even as a small toddler, Masturbator Bill have a fantastic sexual imagination, and was constantly jerking away as he verbally explored the debts of his sexually dysfunctional mind with a passion that most young boys reserved for sports and other child like activities.
Chapter 10 will be of special interest to cell phone users who want to engage in telephone sex while masturbating as they drive their cars. Masturbator Bill has developed the "O'Reilly Car Jerk-Off Method" that is sure to appeal to today's auto commuter who often finds it very difficult to engage in masturbation while driving a car and talking on their cell phone to the object of their lust. After thousands of man-hours of car telephone sex, and countless accidents, Masturbator Bill successfully self-taught himself to drive his car and engage in telephone sex as he masturbates in even the most horrendous traffic conditions.
Chapter 12 is devoted to the children of America. In this chapter, Jerk-off Bill explains what is proper and acceptable for youngsters who wish to engage in telephone sex before they reach the age of legal consent. This will be of special interest Christian Conservative families who are concerned about the moral well being of their children who must live in a country inhabited by liberal homosexual and amoral types of children.
And, for all you Rush Limbaugh types with very small wee-wees, chapter 15 will be the one that talks directly to you. Jerk-Off O'Reilly explains in step-by-step detail, with full color illustrations, how to use a microscope and tweezers to get your twig of a penis "standing tall" and spewing forth its glory as you talk away on the telephone.
For all you Bill O'Reilly want-to-bees, chapter 17 will be an absolute must read. In this chapter Stroke-Away Bill explains in detail how to successfully fight and buy-off any individual who may charge you with sexual harassment. And remember, none of this is theory, but the actual procedures that Jerk-Off Bill has successfully used to avoid prosecution for his sexually deviant behavior.
Telephone Sex Masturbation Techniques for Christian conservatives is sure to become the standard for telephone sex in America today. Stop by your favorite bookstore and grab a copy, but hurry as the demand for this latest book from Jerk-Off Bill O'Reilly is expected to be enormous.