A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party. He doesn't
know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a
costume company to explain his problem.

A few days later he received a parcel with the following note:

Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief
will cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be just right
as a pirate..
Very truly yours, Acme Costume Co.

The man thinks this is terrible because they have emphasized his wooden leg
and so he writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by and he receives
another parcel and a note, which says:

Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover
your wooden leg and, with your bald head, you will really look the part.
Very truly yours, Acme Costume Co.

Now the m! an is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing his
wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head so again he writes the company
another nasty letter of complaint.

The next day he gets a small parcel and a note, which reads:

Dear Sir, Please find the enclosed bottle of molasses. Pour the molasses
over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your ass and go as a caramel
apple.

LOL. I like.

Here's another.

A husband and wife are going to a halloween party. The husband is dressed as a doctor and waiting for his wife to get ready. The wife has no idea what to go as. Finally she comes out of the bedroom completely naked, except for a lemon attached to her privates.

The husband looks at her like she's nuts, and asks "What the hell are you doing, you can't go like that."

The wife replied, "it's a costume party, I'm going as a sour-puss."

The husband is mad, but figures he can beat her at her own game.

Next the husband comes out of the kitchen completely naked except for a potato tied to his manhood.

The asked him, "What are you doing, thats not acceptable."

The husband replied, "If you can go as a sour-puss, then I can go as a Dick-tator.

LOL, I like more.