Vilepagan
04-11-2004, 02:55 PM
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor. I work at great depths. I plunge head first into
everything I do. I do not get weekends off or public holidays. I work in
a damp environment. I don't get paid overtime. I work in a dark workplace
that has poor ventilation. I work in high temperatures. My work exposes me to
contagious diseases.
Dear Penis:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight. You fall asleep on the job after brief
work periods. You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in
order to start working. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end
of your shift. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such
as wearing the correct protective clothing. You'll retire well before
reaching 65. You're unable to work double shifts. You sometimes leave your
allocated position before you have completed the day's work. And if that were
not
enough, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the work place
carrying two suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management
I do physical labor. I work at great depths. I plunge head first into
everything I do. I do not get weekends off or public holidays. I work in
a damp environment. I don't get paid overtime. I work in a dark workplace
that has poor ventilation. I work in high temperatures. My work exposes me to
contagious diseases.
Dear Penis:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight. You fall asleep on the job after brief
work periods. You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in
order to start working. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end
of your shift. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such
as wearing the correct protective clothing. You'll retire well before
reaching 65. You're unable to work double shifts. You sometimes leave your
allocated position before you have completed the day's work. And if that were
not
enough, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the work place
carrying two suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management