I figured since we have an overwhelming number of simpson fans on this forum (not to mention the quote bit going on in another thread), I'm creating The Simpsons Quote Thread. Relive your favorite simpson moments here....if you have questions, ask the ones who know almost every episode by heart. Enjoy!

http://www.allforums.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=4385

Originally posted by silverbulletkc
I figured since we have an overwhelming number of simpson fans on this forum (not to mention the quote bit going on in another thread), I'm creating The Simpsons Quote Thread. Relive your favorite simpson moments here....if you have questions, ask the ones who know almost every episode by heart. Enjoy!
Yeeeeeees! [insert picture of "that jerk who always goes 'yeeeeees'", as he is called by Homer. Google Image Search (GIS) has failed me!]

Hypnotist: you are all good players
Team: we are all good players
Hypnotist: you will beat Shelbyville
Team: we will beat Shelbyville
Hypnotist: you will give 110%
Team: that's impossible, no one can give over 100%, by definition, that is the most anyone can give.

Lisa: "So whose face is on it? [the $1000 bill]"
Moe: "Uh, well it would have to be somebody famous...I'm gonna go with...Hitler."

Homer: Bart, meet Jay Sherman, the critic.
Jay: Hello.
Bart: Hey man, I really love your show, I think ALL kids should watch it!...*turns his back and shudders* I suddenly feel so dirty...

Stan Lee: You don't want a Batman toy. You want something more dignified. Like The Thing.
Database: Ahh, but only Batman can fit in my Batmobile.
Stan Lee: The Thing can fit too. (breaks the car by forcing in The Thing figure.) See? He's fitting already.
Database: Ahh, you broke my Batmobile.
Stan Lee: Broke? Or made it better?" (hums theme from Spider-Man while putting Marvel comics over DC comics on the rack.)

Originally posted by BorgHunter
Yeeeeeees! [insert picture of "that jerk who always goes 'yeeeeees'", as he is called by Homer. Google Image Search (GIS) has failed me!]

My wife tells me that the real-life guy's name was Frank Nelson.

Ralph "So the doctor told me I wouldn't have so many nosebleeds if I just kept my finger out of there."

Ralph: And when the doctor said I didn't have worms anymore, that was the happiest day of my life.

Patti (or Selma, can't remember): "Look what Henry Winkler told a close friend: 'I may not always keep my cool like the Fonz, but being a father has given me many happy days.'"

Mr. Burns: "We call it an unrequested fission surplus"

Moe: "When I was a kid, I was bitten by the acting bug. Then it burrowed under my skin and laid eggs in my heart."
Homer: "I know what you mean. Our dog has that!"

NASA guy: "In a way, you're both winners. In another, more accurate way, Barney is the winner."

Duffman: Duffman is thrusting in the direction of the problem!

Owner: Take this object, but beware it carries a terrible curse!
Homer: [worried] Ooooh, that's bad.
Owner: But it comes with a free Frogurt!
Homer: [relieved] That's good.
Owner: The Frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: [worried] That's bad.
Owner: But you get your choice of topping!
Homer: [relieved] That's good.
Owner: The toppings contains Potassium Benzoate.
Homer: [stares]
Owner: That's bad.

Homer, on answering the doorbell and seeing Kang and Kodos standing there:

"Oh great...Mormons"

Cypress Hill (@ Hullabalooza): Before we start, we have a lost child here. If she is not found within the next half our she will become property of Blockbuster Entertainment.

(The Simpson's In Australia)

Marge: I'll just have coffee please.
Bartender: Allright, beer it is.
Marge: No, coffee.
Bartender: Beer?
Marge: Coff-ee!
Bartender:Be-er?
Marge: C...O...
Bartender: B...E...

You forgot that that was in Australia, silverbullet. ;)

You're right...I have made a dishonorable error to simpsons quotes, oh woe is me.....but all is good now! Thread corrected.

(Homer is cooking bacon & eggs)
Marge: "Homer, you cooked breakfast!"
Homer: "Nothing is too good for my one and only!" (feeds the food to Pinchy the lobster) "Eat up, you're all skin and bones!"

(At the School Cafeteria during a major school budget crunch)

Bart: (Cracking his fingers) ooowww...my bones are so brittle....but I always get plenty of..................Malk?

Selma: (showing slides) And this is Patty trying to plug her leg razor into one of those ungodly Czechoslovakian outlets. As you can see, we never did get the hang of it.

Blue-haired Lawyer: "But what about that tattoo on your chest? Doesn't it say, 'Die Bart, Die?'"
Sideshow Bob: "No, That's German for, 'The Bart, The.'"
Courtroom observer: "No one who speaks German could be an evil man."

(Choreographer before Little Miss Springfield Pageant)

Choreographer: I said step-pause-turn-pause-pivot-step-step, not step-pause-turn-pause-pivot-step-pause! Oh Shudder! (puffs at the cigarette).

Mr. Burns: "Smithers had thwarted my earlier attempt to take candy from a baby, but with him out of the picture, I was free to wallow in my own crapulence."

Smithers' computer, booting up: (an image of Mr. Burns appears on the screen, and he speaks in a stuttery manner): Smithers you're quite good at turning me on.

(Homer runs into a deer with his car)
Homer: D'oh!
Lisa: A deer!
Marge: A female deer!

Stacy: "It's over Joe. Release me from your Kung-Fu grip."

Ralph: I eated the purple berries! [falls over in pain] Oooooooohhhhhhhh....
Bart: How are they, Ralph?
Ralph: They taste like...burning...

Ralph: The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nosebleeds if I kept my finger outta there!

Originally posted by silverbulletkc
Ralph: The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nosebleeds if I kept my finger outta there!
Repeat: Lionel already said that one.

Willy: Yeah, I bought your mutt. And I 'ate him! [raises a huge bone of meat]
Bart: [gasps]
Willy: [tears meat off the bone] I 'ate his little face, I 'ate his guts, and I 'ate the way he's always barkin'! [tosses a bone behind him] So, I gave him to the church.
Bart: [relieved] Ohh, I see. You hate him, so you gave him to the church.
Willy: Aye. I also 'ate the mess he left on me rug!
Bart: [turns around, stares at Willy]
Willy: Ya 'eard me!

Homer: Hello, my name is Mr. Burns, i believe you have a letter for me.
Guy: Ok Mr. Burns, and what is your first name?
Homer: I don't know.

Hutz: ooo. This judge doesn't like me, you see, i accidentaly ran over his dog. Now replace accidentaly with repeatedly, and dog with son.

Hutz: There's the truth, and THE TRUTH!

Hutz: If you choose me as your lawyer, you'll get this free smoking monkey!

Judge: In the case of Religion vs Science, i hereby decree that Religion must stay at least 500 yards away from science at all times.

Moe: Lets go burn down the observatory so this never happens again!

Brockman: Here local Christainites are destroying anything that has any relation to science. (PPL are burning down the "Christian Science School)

Homer: Stupid like a fox!

Homer: Fat Tony! You mean to tell me that the Mob did a favor for me to get something in return! I shall say good day to you sir!

Homer: MMMMMMM. Land of chocolate. argrarrathgragggg
(later in that episode) Hanz: We regret to announce the following layoffs in alphabetical order: Simpson, Homer. That is all

Snake: I like told the guard i was going out for a smoke, and i like totaly stabbed him. (favorite)

Jose Flanders: "Buenos ding-dong-diddily-dias, seņor..."

(During a concert at the school)
Smash: Man, they're gonna be big. And you stood in their way.
Skinner: No, I didn't. I even came in early and made orange drink.
Smash: Orange drink? What, do you live with your momma?
Skinner: *She* lives with *me.*

Homer: "If I were Flanders, where would I be?"
Homer channelling Flanders: "I'm a big four-eyed lame-o and I wear the same stupid green sweater every day."
Homer: "To the Springfield Gorge!"

(at church listening to homer and the b sharps sing)
flanders: you know, reverend, this isn't exactly a hymn.
reverend: Ned, there's an oil stain in the parking lot that looks just like Saint Barnabas
Flanders: (gasp) oh my stars!! (runs to the parking lot)