Venezuela is not a very nice place. It’s owned and run by a group of very corrupt aristocratic families, ‘Conquistador’ types that are mean and arrogant. They care little for their people who live in abject poverty. It’s a terrible irritation for them to step over the poor on their way to Prada.

Venezuela’s leader is called Shove-eggs. America doesn’t like Mr. Shove-eggs, which doesn’t surprise me much; most ordinary Venezuelans don’t like him either. They are constantly having riots attempting to get shot of him. The Americans paid out $800,000 in secret to help the opposition; the problem is everyone knows about it.

This irritated Shove-eggs who made a speech calling
our lad Bush, an arsehole. In political circles and global politics the use of such language is frowned upon. But it might have helped the opposition as I’m sure the US sent another million after that remark.

Now here’s the crunch. Shove-eggs said that if there was any more hanky-panky from the CIA, he’d cut off supplies of oil to America. Venezuela provides 6% of America’s oil. Normally, it would be an empty threat, but now he could do it and get away with it, as the world is short of oil and prices are high.

If you are thinking of a holiday in Venezuela, I strongly advise you consider the south of France or the Yucatan instead. Almost everyone that is anyone in Venezuela carries a gun. They are a very hot-headed people, which is exacerbated by the fact they are often stoned out of their brains on coca.

Getting out of Venezuela in one piece qualifies you for nomination to the World Traveler’s Hall of Fame

No wonder Chavez doesn't like Bush. He has been the victim of a CIA-supported coup and was released after a massive popular uprising. This was one of the most shocking political manipulation by the USA in South America for decades.