Person calling a Suicide Hot Line in Pakistan:

Operator: You have reached the Suicide Hot Line. How can I help you?

Caller: I hate my life, I want to kill myself.

Operator: Wait, don't do anything yet. Do you have a van?

Another bad joke:

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden.......

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon I is sure of eet.'
'Si, Luis,eet smells like bacon to me.'
So, with renewed strength, they struggle up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with
bacon.
There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried
bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon... every imaginable kind of cured pig meat.
'Pepe, Pepe, we is saved. 'Ees a bacon tree.'
'Luis, are you sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the desert don't forget.'
'Pepe when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell
like bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree'.
And with that... Luis Races towards the tree. He gets to
within 5 metres, Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden, a machine gun opens up,and Luis is cut down
in his tracks. It is clear he is mortally wounded but, a true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe with his
dying breath.
'Pepe... go back man,you was right ees not a bacon tree.'
'Luis Luis mi amigo... what ees it?
'Pepe... ees not a bacon tree...
Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees

Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees a Ham Bush!!

those are both funny..
i don't exactly get the first one entirely...?
lol oh well i like jokes.
:)