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Frogger
04-23-2008, 04:18 PM
I don't know who this will upset more, the gals or the guys. It seems those dastardly witchdoctors in Kinshasa are stealing men's penises. I wonder what they do with them?



KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.

Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur.

Rumors of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo's sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.

Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.

"You just have to be accused of that, and people come after you. We've had a number of attempted lynchings. ... You see them covered in marks after being beaten," Kinshasa's police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko, told Reuters on Tuesday.

Police arrested the accused sorcerers and their victims in an effort to avoid the sort of bloodshed seen in Ghana a decade ago, when 12 suspected penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs. The 27 men have since been released.

"I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke," Oleko said.

"But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'," he said.

Some Kinshasa residents accuse a separatist sect from nearby Bas-Congo province of being behind the witchcraft in revenge for a recent government crackdown on its members.

"It's real. Just yesterday here, there was a man who was a victim. We saw. What was left was tiny," said 29-year-old Alain Kalala, who sells phone credits near a Kinshasa police station.
http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSN2319603620080423?feedType=RSS&feedName=oddlyEnoughNews&rpc=22&sp=true

mikezila
04-23-2008, 07:55 PM
Dude?! where's my penis???

wtf?!

Frogger
04-23-2008, 08:27 PM
I was in Africa a few years ago and ran into one of those witch doctors. For some reason he got angry with me and shrunk my penis. It never grew back to its original size. It is now only 10" long.

mikezila
04-23-2008, 08:31 PM
I was in Africa a few years ago and ran into one of those witch doctors. For some reason he got angry with me and shrunk my penis. It never grew back to its original size. It is now only 10" long.
now why would i, or anyone else, need to know that?

Frogger
04-23-2008, 09:04 PM
Maybe I should have included an LOL icon. I didn't know you were so dense.:hitout:

LionelHutz
04-23-2008, 09:50 PM
If anyone ever laughs at me, I guess I can use the witchdoctor excuse. Of course no one would ever laugh. Gasp in awe, perhaps, but never laugh.

mikezila
04-23-2008, 10:09 PM
Maybe I should have included an LOL icon. I didn't know you were so dense.:hitout:
i didn't know you couldn't tell between the metric and english side of a ruler.:lolhit:

Frogger
04-24-2008, 08:28 AM
i didn't know you couldn't tell between the metric and english side of a ruler.:lolhit:

See how you feel when YOUR penis size is halved.

primitive man
04-24-2008, 09:04 AM
maybe they should just stick their finger up their asses and yell SNAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Travh20
04-24-2008, 10:17 AM
maybe they should just stick their finger up their asses and yell SNAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!


You got issues dude.

CarbonBasedLife
04-24-2008, 10:43 AM
At the start of my intro to religion class, my professor always asks, "What's in the news?". I brought this story up because it is funny and it does deal with religion, sort of. My professor, who's quickly become my favorite professor I've ever had, told me he wouldn't have believed me except for the fact that it happened in Congo. Congo is rich with diamonds, and there is a lot of violence as a result of different tribes fighting over the mines. (thus, making the Congo diamonds "blood diamonds") Authorities have no control over the situation, or they don't care. So, he thought the story could very well be true, (the removing of the penises, not so much the shrinking) as removing penises is certainly a good intimidation tactic.

Not to dampen the light-hearted spirit of the thread...I just wanted to share my professor's thoughts on the story.

Decka
04-24-2008, 06:08 PM
If they made my penis shrink.. i'd still have 9 inches!!!

*crickets chirping*

Come on everyone.. drink up!

es347fan
04-24-2008, 07:08 PM
If they made my penis shrink.. i'd still have 9 inches!!!

*crickets chirping*

Come on everyone.. drink up!

Ahh, yes - but can you lick your own eyebrows?

:lolhit:

The Praetorian
04-25-2008, 04:52 PM
This is the best thing to happen in Africa since genocide. Ouch. :lolhit:

The Praetorian
04-25-2008, 04:54 PM
You got issues dude.
NO KIDDING! Jesus, that was disturbing. :eek:

primitive man
04-25-2008, 05:30 PM
NO KIDDING! Jesus, that was disturbing. :eek:

neither one of you dumbfucks have a sense of humor, or maybe it is you just didn't get the joke.

The Praetorian
04-25-2008, 05:42 PM
neither one of you dumbfucks have a sense of humor, or maybe it is you just didn't get the joke.
Okay, then enlighten me, "primitive man". What's the punch line? Were you, or were you not, talking about them sticking their finger "up their asses" to achieve an erection? Yeah....real fuckin' funny, ya sick prick. :rolleyes: You know, I'd be willing to bet you'd be the bell of the ball at a gay pride parade, weirdo.

primitive man
04-25-2008, 06:01 PM
ok dumb fuck there is a joke around here when we ares in cold waters, ya know, and the penis shrinks up real small like, and someone says, maybe i oughta stick my finger up my ass and yell snake sos i kin piss.
idiot.

The Praetorian
04-26-2008, 11:40 AM
Hilarious. :rolleyes: