Believe it or not.
Woman has Man in it;
Mrs. has Mr . in it;
Female has Male in it;
She has He in it;
Madam has Adam in it;
No wonder men always want to be inside women!

Men were born between the legs of a woman, yet men spend all their
life and time trying to go back between the legs of a woman.... Why?
BECAUSE THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME! :banana:

(got this in an email from one of my female friends)

hehehehe omg laughed but sadly true..
ok for some men...grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

:lolhit:

Good mornin' Shortie! :hug:

The only thing that the IRS has not taxed yet is the male penis.
This is due to the fact that 69% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 10% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off and 1% of the time it is in the hole. On top of that, it has two dependents and they are both nuts!

HOWEVER, effective January 1st, 2008, the penis will now be taxed according to size:

The brackets are as follows:


10 - 12" Luxury Tax $ 300.00
8 - 10" Pole Tax $ 250.00
5 - 8" Privilege Tax $ 150.00
3 - 5" Nuisance Tax $ 30.00

Males exceeding 12" must file capital gains.

Anyone under 4" is eligible for a tax refund.

** PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION **

Good mornin' Shortie! :hug:

Good morning :)

OMG smw I spit my coffee on my computer laughing so hard lol thanks
I so needed that lol

The only thing that the IRS has not taxed yet is the male penis.
This is due to the fact that 69% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 10% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off and 1% of the time it is in the hole. On top of that, it has two dependents and they are both nuts!

HOWEVER, effective January 1st, 2008, the penis will now be taxed according to size:

The brackets are as follows:


10 - 12" Luxury Tax $ 300.00
8 - 10" Pole Tax $ 250.00
5 - 8" Privilege Tax $ 150.00
3 - 5" Nuisance Tax $ 30.00

Males exceeding 12" must file capital gains.

Anyone under 4" is eligible for a tax refund.

** PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION **

:lolhit: Morning Smartie pants! :worship:

:lolhit: Morning Smartie pants! :worship:

'mornin, Mississippi Man. Funny stuff you posted. And they say it's a 'man's world.'

:lolhit:

Lmao....!

'mornin, Mississippi Man. Funny stuff you posted. And they say it's a 'man's world.'

:lolhit:

That's just to boost our ego. We are frail creatures, ya know? :slap:

That's just to boost our ego. We are frail creatures, ya know? :slap:

Yes, dear... we know.

*pats HF on head*

However, we wouldn't have it any other way!

I like my men like I like my coffee... strong & sweet.

:thumbs:
SMW

Yes, dear... we know.

*pats HF on head*

However, we wouldn't have it any other way!

I like my men like I like my coffee... strong & sweet.

:thumbs:
SMW

I thought it was "bitter and murky"? :lolhit:

I thought it was "bitter and murky"? :lolhit:

No, that's the men we've HAD....not what we like!

I thought it was "bitter and murky"? :lolhit:

No... that's what I usually GET! I was referring to what I LIKE!! Two entirely different things!

:D

LOL @ Kimi... GMTA, g/f.

^5

No, that's the men we've HAD....not what we like!

Then start choosing more wisely Sis! Stop hitting on the losers.

Then start choosing more wisely Sis! Stop hitting on the losers.

She did. You're preaching to the choir on that one, HF.

However, I could use a lecture. Can't seem to break that bad-boy syndrome.

:taser:

She did. You're preaching to the choir on that one, HF.

However, I could use a lecture. Can't seem to break that bad-boy syndrome.

:taser:

You have to get it in your head first before any preaching will help. For now how about a big ole hug to ty you over? :bighug:

You have to get it in your head first before any preaching will help. For now how about a big ole hug to ty you over? :bighug:

I guess that'll help... esp if that's all I can get.

*pouts*

LOL @ Kimi... GMTA, g/f.

^5

:thumbs:

Then start choosing more wisely Sis! Stop hitting on the losers.

I chose very wisely this time around....and, for the record, the losers found me, I didn't hit on them!! LOL

Of course, it could have had something to do with that tattoo I wore on my forehead for so long that said "I love assholes"......

I chose very wisely this time around....and, for the record, the losers found me, I didn't hit on them!! LOL

Of course, it could have had something to do with that tattoo I wore on my forehead for so long that said "I love assholes"......

Thank God you got THAT tat removed! :thumbs:

Thank God you got THAT tat removed! :thumbs:

Yes, and it wasn't nearly as painful as I expected!!

I kept my other tat, though...my Leo the Lion.

I kept my other tat, though...my Leo the Lion.


:D

glad I'm not the only one I know that went with their birth sign for a tattoo

:D

glad I'm not the only one I know that went with their birth sign for a tattoo

Nope, I've had mine for about 14 years. It's a custom design drawn by a friend of mine one afternoon. I took it to a tattoo parlor in the stockyards in Ft. Worth and they put it on.

I'm definitely itching for another tattoo... I'm thinkin' about an eight ball on one foot and a scorpion on the other.

I kept my other tat, though...my Leo the Lion.
Carl Crawford has one of those on his neck. Looks like a sperm.

I'm definitely itching for another tattoo... I'm thinking' about an eight ball on one foot and a scorpion on the other.
some well meaning, yet myopic person is likely to try to stomp on that bug:eek:

Nope, I've had mine for about 14 years. It's a custom design drawn by a friend of mine one afternoon. I took it to a tattoo parlor in the stockyards in Ft. Worth and they put it on.


I just went in with a vague idea of what I wanted,told the guy,he went back to his office drew me something,brought it back and we tweaked it until it was perfect for me. He put a picture of my finished tattoo in his book too.

some well meaning, yet myopic person is likely to try to stomp on that bug:eek:
LOL... It would be on the inside of my heel so perhaps that would lessen the risk of this. :p

LOL... It would be on the inside of my heel so perhaps that would lessen the risk of this. :p
beware of tattoos that show.... how may tattoos do you see on ppl with office jobs?

beware of tattoos that show.... how may tattoos do you see on ppl with office jobs?
That's why I pick places that won't show. Why would I be wearing flip flops to an office job?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0xoKiH8JJM

That's why I pick places that won't show. Why would I be wearing flip flops to an office job?
there are a lot of womans shoes that hide very little of the foot-just ask Feetie.

there are a lot of womans shoes that hide very little of the foot-just ask Feetie.
None that I would wear to work... Here is a shoe that is very similar to the type I wear to the office:
http://img231.imageshack.us/img231/7527/46763507177x15000ga4.jpg

I'm not exactly the type for the strappy little slingback heel, and even if I was, it's definitely easy enough not to wear them to work. I wear tank tops all the time in my free time, and I like wearing them, but I don't wear them to work.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0xoKiH8JJM
Hahaha.... I like how his name is Dick. And the mustache and shades are just great. :D

Oh and also, he said that Hitler was raised by a single mother but that's not true... Just so everyone knows.

None that I would wear to work... Here is a shoe that is very similar to the type I wear to the office:
http://img231.imageshack.us/img231/7527/46763507177x15000ga4.jpg

I'm not exactly the type for the strappy little slingback heel, and even if I was, it's definitely easy enough not to wear them to work. I wear tank tops all the time in my free time, and I like wearing them, but I don't wear them to work.
wth? you're taking fashion ques from Ren now?:(

Hey I just want to be comfortable. I'm not going to be strutting around the streets of DC all winter in 6 inch high stilettos that expose half my feet. At my job my boss and I often walk to meetings up to half an hour each way... I can't even imagine trying to do it in heels!!

wth? you're taking fashion ques from Ren now?:(

Oh, somebody's gonna be in BIG trouble.

*pulls up chair*

:corn:

want some popcorn Smarty? This is gonna be fun :D

Oh, somebody's gonna be in BIG trouble.

*pulls up chair*
when aren't i?:confused:

when aren't i?:confused:


I wear flip flops to work and I work in an office. Heck for 4 weeks after my surgery I came in my pjs!!!! Thank God for casual office jobs!!! All the perks and you dont' have to be uptight...unless you want to be.

And you are only in trouble for being taller then me and Michelle.

:thumbs:

I wear flip flops to work and I work in an office. Heck for 4 weeks after my surgery I came in my pjs!!!! Thank God for casual office jobs!!! All the perks and you dont' have to be uptight...unless you want to be.

And you are only in trouble for being taller then me and Michelle.

:thumbs:


everyone is taller than me

When I worked for this electronic repair company,I ran one of the stores alone and would always take my shoes off while I was there. No one could see behind the counter so they never knew I wasn't wearing any shoes. :D

Carl Crawford has one of those on his neck. Looks like a sperm.

LOL - mine is on my shoulder and it looks like a lion. Who is Carl Crawford?

I just went in with a vague idea of what I wanted,told the guy,he went back to his office drew me something,brought it back and we tweaked it until it was perfect for me. He put a picture of my finished tattoo in his book too.

I feel sure my custom lion ended up in the book at this place, too. They were all impressed with it and had nothing like it to show.

I feel sure my custom lion ended up in the book at this place, too. They were all impressed with it and had nothing like it to show.


That's so cool

I need to get mine touched up and maybe some color added. I'm just afraid to go to anyone else for fear they are going to screw it up.

That's so cool

I need to get mine touched up and maybe some color added. I'm just afraid to go to anyone else for fear they are going to screw it up.

I couldn't go back to the same place if I wanted to. I learned that they are no longer there. Mine still looks okay, though.

LOL - mine is on my shoulder and it looks like a lion. Who is Carl Crawford?
http://bp2.blogger.com/_8ELqDZrYSO8/RpWUH6Zk8wI/AAAAAAAAACE/OE2SJephzEE/s400/Carl+1.jpg

That does look kind of stupid on the neck. I got mine where I could cover it when appropriate and uncover it if I want to.

The only thing that the IRS has not taxed yet is the male penis.
This is due to the fact that 69% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 10% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off and 1% of the time it is in the hole. On top of that, it has two dependents and they are both nuts!

**


and don't forget the asshole next door.