I particularly like the last one :banana:

1) Did you fart?
Cuz you blew me away.

2) Are yer parents retarded?
Cuz ya sure are special.

3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea .
I can't hold it in.

4) Do you have a library card?
Cuz I'd like to sign you out.

5) Is there a mirror in yer pants?
Cuz I can see myself in 'em.

6) If you was a tree and I were a Squirrel,
I'd store my nuts in yer hole.

7) You might not be the best lookin girl here,
but beauty's only a light switch away.

8) Man - "Fat Penguin!"
Woman - "WHAT? "
Man - "I just wanted to say something that would
break the ice."

9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone,
but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.

10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him?
I think he went inta this cheap motel room.

11) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin,
we kin sleep 'til afternoon.

13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench,
every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.

ROFL!!
Here's some more redneck stuff. Not that hubby Bubba and me don't know nuthin bout THAT.


You might be a Redneck if

The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse.

You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.


Your Junior/Senior Prom had a day care.

You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen, start your engines."

You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

You have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard.

Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart 'cause there's a law against it.

You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

LMAO! Those were great too! The sad part is I've done most, if not all, of them :lolhit:

LMAO! Those were great too! The sad part is I've done most, if not all, of them :lolhit:

Oh, Bubba....you and every other red-blooded southern man!

Oh, Bubba....you and every other red-blooded southern man!

Yep! And I especially like "You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk." :banana:

Those made me LOL... Especially "You let your 12 year old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids." :p Sounds like some people I know up where my mom lives in West Virginia... There are at least four or five girls that I knew in middle school who have at least one kid now. One girl who was in my 6th grade class has THREE.

Redneck's wedding photo. (NO, this is not Kimi at her recent wedding... which took place in the Ozarks. NOT, NOT, NOT!)



http://i156.photobucket.com/albums/t33/texrose752/WTwedding.jpg

Redneck's wedding photo. (NO, this is not Kimi at her recent wedding... which took place in the Ozarks. NOT, NOT, NOT!)



http://i156.photobucket.com/albums/t33/texrose752/WTwedding.jpg

Nice looking dog.

Smarty - I thought I asked you to destroy that pic. You know my dog doesn't like to have his pic on the internet!

Smarty - I thought I asked you to destroy that pic. You know my dog doesn't like to have his pic on the internet!

Oops, sorry, Kimi. Just don't sic Rocky on me, OK??

(never thought to ask... your new old man doesn't wear a mullet, does he??)

:lolhit:

Oops, sorry, Kimi. Just don't sic Rocky on me, OK??

(never thought to ask... your new old man doesn't wear a mullet, does he??)

:lolhit:

Lord, NO! I mean, as nice as that particular hairdo is, he usually prefers a "high & tight"....that's a Marine corp term and when he told me, I thought he was talking dirty to me.....:)

Lord, NO! I mean, as nice as that particular hairdo is, he usually prefers a "high & tight"....that's a Marine corp term and when he told me, I thought he was talking dirty to me.....:)

LOL, and who could blame you? I'd think the same thing!!

Mmmmm, carpe diem.

LOL, and who could blame you? I'd think the same thing!!

Mmmmm, carpe diem.

Seize What ? Carps.?
You like ain't in the same boat as Mary...I hope.
Can barely afford reglar fish,by golly.

LOL, and who could blame you? I'd think the same thing!!

Mmmmm, carpe diem.

Indeed!

Nice looking dog.
kinda smalll for a Rott...i think she was photo-shopped in:@@:

OMG that fits half the guys here...NO wonder I am still single
LMAO
:lolhit:

OMG that fits half the guys here...NO wonder I am still single
LMAO
:lolhit:

Half? Try about 99%. That leaves only me. :thumbs:

Half? Try about 99%. That leaves only me. :thumbs:

Awwww but sweetie you have a wife.. and I don't share...lol
hehe

Awwww but sweetie you have a wife.. and I don't share...lol
hehe

Awwww c'mon now! But does that mean I can't drool over your new avatar? :worship:

Awwww c'mon now! But does that mean I can't drool over your new avatar? :worship:
over me you mean lol
awwwww....now now what would the wifey say darlin...
hehe morning

over me you mean lol
awwwww....now now what would the wifey say darlin...
hehe morning

Of course you, darlin!

As she has told me in the past, " I don't care where you get your appetite, just as long as you come home for supper."

Mornin' to yu too Shortie :hug:

Of course you, darlin!

As she has told me in the past, " I don't care where you get your appetite, just as long as you come home for supper."

Mornin' to yu too Shortie :hug:

she sounds like an awesome women...congrats on that..
hehe ok way to early and back to bed for me...ni ni