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Frogger
04-01-2008, 02:11 PM
http://img.metro.co.uk/i/pix/2008/03/BMWFree_450x300.jpg

BMW's war on dog wee

April Showers: Dogs have been warned A dog may be man's best friend but a gleaming new car is often man's pride and joy – and never the twain should meet.

But careless canines now face a shock if they do their business over their owner's new Beamer.

Electric shock technology unveiled in the latest BMW should ensure no peeing poodle feels too cock-a-hoop after cocking a leg.

A pet who relieves itself over the new model's wheels will get quite a buzz out of it – as an unpleasant 200volts shoots through its body.


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BMW described the invention as a shock to the system of any poor pets who may well be house-trained but not yet able to keep the driveway dry.

You could, in fact, say that BMW has declared war on Rover, 14 years after buying the British car firm of the same name.

But the German giant does insist the immediate electric sting is 'relatively pain-free' – although bracing enough to deter the instant hot dog in future.

According to the inventors, energy generated when slamming on the brakes is stored and transformed into an electrical charge, ready to zap any mucky pup spending a penny.

Dr Hans Zoff, the boffin behind the Canine Repellent Alloy Protection system, said: 'Research shows that most BMW customers love to keep their cars clean – but dog fouling is a constant irritant.'

But Lola Forpi, from campaign group Put Animals First, said: 'All motorists must expect to go through the odd puddle here and there. As well as going for a drive, we'd recommend owners

The Praetorian
04-01-2008, 06:57 PM
I wanna purchase an '08, 135 i in about 3 months. I wonder if that'll come standard. That'd certainly piss off (pardon the pun) a drunkard in a parking lot - LOL!

mikezila
04-01-2008, 07:10 PM
I wanna purchase an '08, 135 i in about 3 months. I wonder if that'll come standard. That'd certainly piss off (pardon the pun) a drunkard in a parking lot - LOL!



anytime i've been drunk, i aim for the driver's door handle:drinktoth

es347fan
04-02-2008, 06:54 AM
I wanna purchase an '08, 135 i in about 3 months. I wonder if that'll come standard. That'd certainly piss off (pardon the pun) a drunkard in a parking lot - LOL!

Spend a few more bucks & go for a 335i - what I've read of the 1 has not been great.

Canadianreader
04-02-2008, 07:25 AM
If any car hurts my dog I'm going to scratch it.

MeskDXB
04-02-2008, 07:49 AM
If any car hurts my dog I'm going to scratch it.


even if your dog is damaging other's property?

BorgHunter
04-02-2008, 08:35 AM
Spend a few more bucks & go for a 335i - what I've read of the 1 has not been great.
BMWs are overpriced and overrated.

MichelleG.
04-02-2008, 08:40 AM
even if your dog is damaging other's property?


no kidding....control your pets and car makers wouldn't have to think of these ideas.:rolleyes:

Canadianreader
04-02-2008, 08:41 AM
even if your dog is damaging other's property?_________
____________________
YES
Hurt my dog and I'll hurt you.

Canadianreader
04-02-2008, 08:51 AM
no kidding....control your pets and car makers wouldn't have to think of these ideas.:rolleyes:
_________________-
A pet who relieves itself over the new model's wheels will get quite a buzz out of it – as an unpleasant 200volts shoots through its body.

You may be getting this as well. I know better to think that someone would thank you.

I'll have to wait to see how many people end up being physically assaulted because of their cars zapping someones dog.

The Praetorian
04-02-2008, 10:14 AM
BMWs are overpriced and overrated.
3 years with a license, and not to mention, your extensive experience at the Skip Barber driving school with their M-car lineup affords you the ability to make that claim, eh? If so, then you should probably take the time to write Car & Driver, Motor Trend, Consumer Reports, and well......pretty much every other car magazine/publication on Earth, 'cause their so-called "experts" are of a different opinion. Let 'em know what's really up, will ya? ;)

LionelHutz
04-02-2008, 11:14 AM
Spend a few more bucks & go for a 335i - what I've read of the 1 has not been great.

I've read some really good reviews, but they all point out that, as you say, for a few bucks more you can get a 3 series.

mikezila
04-02-2008, 12:44 PM
BMWs are overpriced and overrated.
it's a BMW, not a Lexus, but i can understand the confusion.

The Praetorian
04-02-2008, 01:34 PM
I've read some really good reviews, but they all point out that, as you say, for a few bucks more you can get a 3 series.
Me, too. As a matter of fact, I've read pretty much every review I could find, and ironically enough, they've all been good - if not, stellar. The new engine in the 135 is remarkable. You should read up on its design; it's completely unconventional, and IMHO, revolutionary. I know the 3 shares it, but it pays a 600 lb penalty, and moreover, the 3 doesn't have floating brake rotors. Oh, and the 3 is of an older design, but if those reasons aren't enough to bother ya, then hey - fork over the EXTRA cash, and buy yourself the older, fatter, slower, imperceptibly larger, soon-to-be-replaced 3. :D

BTW, roughly one month ago, R&T posted a 4.8 second sprint to 60 with the manual, and said the new 135 reminded them of the E-36 M3, in that it's such a communicative, light, and pure car to drive

The only problem is that Chris Bangle fucker. He and his fellow "banglers" made the 135 look like a pregnant dog that's forced to drag it's belly along the asphalt as it walks. :(

es347fan
04-02-2008, 02:59 PM
I had the pleasure of owning an '80-735i & an '82-528i at the same time while stationed in Germany. The 7 had an auto, the 5 a manual. Both were an absolute blast to pilot on the Autobahn. The 7, a comfortable & fast crusier, the 5, an unbelieveably quick commuter. I spent considerable time in both, with my right foot mashed to the floor, enjoying every minute of flying low to the ground. It was great fun sucking the headlights out of most anything that challenged, especially anything American that appeared in the rear-view mirrors.
Overpriced? Certainly. Overrated? Not hardly.

The Praetorian
04-02-2008, 03:02 PM
Overpriced? Certainly. Overrated? Not hardly.
Now THAT'S a fair assessment. :)

F. de Marzipan
04-02-2008, 03:16 PM
even if your dog is damaging other's property?

I'm fairly certain that dog pee doesn't actually damage a car tire. And really, are there SO many dogs out there peeing on Beamers? You know something I don't?

Regardless, electrocuting dogs isn't the way to go about keeping your penis extension pee-free. If these people's cars are so bloody delicate they oughta park them in their damned garages.

The Praetorian
04-02-2008, 03:33 PM
I'm fairly certain that dog pee doesn't actually damage a car tire...
Piss is acidic, and not to mention, gross. I don't think they're known for their precision. That said, I wouldn't want it on my clear coat.
Regardless, electrocuting dogs isn't the way to go about keeping your penis extension pee-free.
:confused: How is a BMW a penis extension? A Corvette, maybe - but not a fine piece of German engineering out of Zuffenhausen or Liepzig.

That'd be like me calling your Versace evening gown a "pussy-shrinker". :eek:
If these people's cars are so bloody delicate they oughta park them in their damned garages.
If they could take their garages to the mall or a restaurant parking lot, then I'm sure they would.

es347fan
04-02-2008, 08:19 PM
Damn dogs shouldn't be running loose to begin with. Shoot the strays on sight, just as many communities have done with felines.

Frogger
04-03-2008, 10:26 AM
People,

Look at the date of the first post with which I started this thread. It was an April Fool joke. BMW isn't going around electrocuting pissing dogs.:lolhit:

F. de Marzipan
04-03-2008, 10:46 AM
That'd be like me calling your Versace evening gown a "pussy-shrinker". :eek:

I've owned one evening gown in my entire life and it came from the Macy's bargain rack in 1988. :p These days, I live in sweats. There's just not a lot of call for evening wear out here in the woods.

:D

It was an April Fool joke. BMW isn't going around electrocuting pissing dogs.

Good damned thing! But now that BMW came up with the idea, how long do you think it will be before someone actually does make such a thing? It's not far out of the realm of possibility, at all. I mean, look what some people do to avoid carjackings...

Flamethrower now an option on S. African cars (http://www.cnn.com/WORLD/africa/9812/11/flame.thrower.car/)


http://www.gettingit.com/art/scope/technophilia990920_art2.gif

And you'll note: IT'S A BEAMER! :lolhit:

Brooks
04-03-2008, 10:56 AM
The only opinion I have on this matter is that this is the best thread title of all time.

mikezila
04-03-2008, 11:40 AM
People,

Look at the date of the first post with which I started this thread. It was an April Fool joke. BMW isn't going around electrocuting pissing dogs.:lolhit:
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leaving that in was a nice clue:thumbs:

mikezila
04-03-2008, 11:51 AM
Good damned thing! But now that BMW came up with the idea, how long do you think it will be before someone actually does make such a thing? It's not far out of the realm of possibility, at all. I mean, look what some people do to avoid carjackings...

Flamethrower now an option on S. African cars (http://www.cnn.com/WORLD/africa/9812/11/flame.thrower.car/)


http://www.gettingit.com/art/scope/technophilia990920_art2.gif

And you'll note: IT'S A BEAMER! :lolhit:
of course it's on a BMW, who's going to carjack a Yugo? (please note that it's a 10 y/o story):lolhit:

flamethrowers on cars weren't new in 1998 either-it's an old hot rod gimmick. all you have to do is feed propane into the exhaust, and install an igniter. it lights up the night on my boss's 379 Pete.

i suggested it for the grass burner exhaust to ward off ppl hanging out in the blind spot on the stingers, but that fell flat:(

The Praetorian
04-03-2008, 05:05 PM
Duuuuuh!!!!! I didn't even bother to check it out. Nice one, Frogger. :)

The Praetorian
04-03-2008, 05:11 PM
Flamethrower now an option on S. African cars (http://www.cnn.com/WORLD/africa/9812/11/flame.thrower.car/)
That's frickin' AWESOME! I'd love to have that in Chicago - what, with all the bums holding dirty-ass squeegees looking to royally screw your windshield up at YOUR expense - that'd be invaluable. Two birds with one stone, baby! :D

The Praetorian
04-03-2008, 05:38 PM
And you'll note: IT'S A BEAMER! :lolhit:
You know what's really strange; I've always spelled "Beamer" just like you have above (and I think it's plenty logical to do so), but being the auto-phile I am, I subscribe to magazine titled, "Roundel" (for BMW enthusiasts), and through that magazine, I got an offer for a free subscription to another publication titled, "Bimmer". As counter-intuitive as it is, that's the proper spelling (and pronunciation when referring to their car lineup). BMW motorcycles are properly referred to as "Beemers". It has to do with their history, I guess.