Sparky2
01-05-2008, 08:22 PM
This guy walks into a bar, and takes a seat across from the bartender. Out of his breast pocket and onto the bar stool next to him hops a carrot. The bartender pours the fellow a beer, and comments that it isn’t very often that he sees a customer come in with his own lunch.
The patron laughs and explains,
“Oh no, he’s not lunch, he’s a pet. He’s more like my buddy, really. We go everywhere together,” and he affectionately pats his little orange companion on the back.
At that, the fellow pulls out his wallet and produces some photos of himself with the carrot. Flying a kite together, laughing at the circus clowns, throwing a frisbee on the beach, etc etc. The carrot sits quietly on his bar stool, and looks on with great pride and affection.
‘Well, to each his own’, thinks the bartender, and he moves on down to serve some other customers.
The guy finishes his beer, pays his tab, and walks on out of the bar with the carrot close on his heels. He starts to cross the road to his car, but stops short for some passing traffic. The carrot, excited to be going home apparently, dashes out into the street and heads for the car.
“NO, BUDDY!!!!” the man shouts, but it is too late. Thu-thump, the carrot is hit by a car and is thrown to the curb.
“Oh my gosh, I’ve got to get you to the hospital!” the guy exclaims, and scoops up his injured carrot. With a squeal of tires, he races to the hospital and delivers his carrot to the Emergency Room.
Two hours later, the worried fellow is pacing the floor of the hospital waiting room, and nervously glancing at his watch.
“Oh, goodness, when am I going to hear something?” Every moment that goes by is an eternity of agony and remorse.
“Why wasn’t I watching more closely? Why didn’t I teach him to look both ways?”
Finally, the swinging doors to the operating room open up, and the visibly fatigued Emergency Room doctor emerges. He’s got carrot juice all over the front of his scrubs, and he’s clearly had a very rough time of it.
The guy pleads,
“Doctor, doctor, how is my carrot? Is he going to be all right??”
The doctor pulls off his cap and mask and clenches them in his fists.
“Well, he sustained some mighty bad injuries, and things were touch and go for awhile. He did however survive the surgery and he’s going to live. But I’ve got to level with you….”
The surgeon pauses to swallow back the emotion in his voice,
“He’s going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life!!”
:eek: :mad: :rolleyes: :confused: :banana: :)
The patron laughs and explains,
“Oh no, he’s not lunch, he’s a pet. He’s more like my buddy, really. We go everywhere together,” and he affectionately pats his little orange companion on the back.
At that, the fellow pulls out his wallet and produces some photos of himself with the carrot. Flying a kite together, laughing at the circus clowns, throwing a frisbee on the beach, etc etc. The carrot sits quietly on his bar stool, and looks on with great pride and affection.
‘Well, to each his own’, thinks the bartender, and he moves on down to serve some other customers.
The guy finishes his beer, pays his tab, and walks on out of the bar with the carrot close on his heels. He starts to cross the road to his car, but stops short for some passing traffic. The carrot, excited to be going home apparently, dashes out into the street and heads for the car.
“NO, BUDDY!!!!” the man shouts, but it is too late. Thu-thump, the carrot is hit by a car and is thrown to the curb.
“Oh my gosh, I’ve got to get you to the hospital!” the guy exclaims, and scoops up his injured carrot. With a squeal of tires, he races to the hospital and delivers his carrot to the Emergency Room.
Two hours later, the worried fellow is pacing the floor of the hospital waiting room, and nervously glancing at his watch.
“Oh, goodness, when am I going to hear something?” Every moment that goes by is an eternity of agony and remorse.
“Why wasn’t I watching more closely? Why didn’t I teach him to look both ways?”
Finally, the swinging doors to the operating room open up, and the visibly fatigued Emergency Room doctor emerges. He’s got carrot juice all over the front of his scrubs, and he’s clearly had a very rough time of it.
The guy pleads,
“Doctor, doctor, how is my carrot? Is he going to be all right??”
The doctor pulls off his cap and mask and clenches them in his fists.
“Well, he sustained some mighty bad injuries, and things were touch and go for awhile. He did however survive the surgery and he’s going to live. But I’ve got to level with you….”
The surgeon pauses to swallow back the emotion in his voice,
“He’s going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life!!”
:eek: :mad: :rolleyes: :confused: :banana: :)