I love reading quotes, so lets have a thread where we can post some of our favourites or new funny ones you just found?

I'll start with some Mark Twain :)

"Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times." -Mark Twain

"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company." -Mark Twain

"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?" - Steven Wright

"Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all of the publicity. But then again--we elected them." - Lily Tomlin

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." - Groucho Marx

"Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking." - Dave Barry

"I still say a church steeple with a lightening rod on top shows a lack of confidence."--- Doug McLeod

Democracy simply means the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people-Oscar Wilde.

In America the President reigns for four years, and Journalism reigns for ever and ever.

hehe :)

In America the President reigns for four years, and Journalism reigns for ever and ever.

hehe :) Unless they are elected to a second term that is! "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." George. W. Bush

Unless they are elected to a second term that is! "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." George. W. Bush

Such a brilliant man that Bush...

"Scientists have finally discovered the cause of death... swallowing small amounts of saliva over long periods of time." Unknown

That's a George Carlin quote!!! :) "Scientists have finally discovered the cause of death... swallowing small amounts of saliva over long periods of time." Unknown

That's a George Carlin quote!!! :)

Thx... now I know!

"Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of month when I can be myself." Roseanne Barr

"Think what a better world it would be if we all, the whole world, had cookies and milk about three o'clock every afternoon and then lay down on our blankets for a nap. " Barbara Jordan

When Im in Spain they take their siesta very seriously-we could all learn from them.

"I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican friends... that if they will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them. " Adlai Stevenson

Not a quote but a saying, used in Ireland a lot.

Catching someone being nosey:

''Ya wanna come in and look out''-:)

"the principle difference between men and dogs is that a dog won't bite the hand that feeds it"-Robert A. Heinlein

"Those who say religion has nothing to do with politics do not know what religion is."------- Matatma Gandhi