Every culture(s) have different social norms that are acceptable to them, but that would seem unacceptable in a different place. This is widely considered as Cultural Relativism.
If you are interested in this concept, then wiki or google it.

How many of you believe that immediate family members should stay very close, physically in regards to housing arrangements, to one another. In widely popular American societies, from what I've seen, sons and daughters usually leave the house hold after college, this doesn't include dorm-ing in college. I have also found this prevalent in many other non-white American peoples, especially an increase of this from the Asian/South East Asian American peoples. This is still a very new idea in my family, seeing as I'm dorming at Up-State New York and my family lives in New York City. I'm getting use to the life style of being on my own, eating on my own, and doing what ever I want. The thing that I keep asking my self now is whether this life will continue after college. How many of you still live with your parents after college. How do you all feel about moving to a distant state, especially if it means furthering your career, but if it also means leaving behind parents, cousins, etc?
In American culture, living with your parents during adult-hood is a sign of a "loser" or someone who can't move on. While others, feel as if its a given fact that kids, especially the eldest son continue to live with their parents and take care of them, both financially and for health reasons.

You make a good point here... I'm a typical white, middle class, American girl. However, I lived in Costa Rica with my mother for two years. I witnessed entire extended families living together in the same house or in adjoining houses. Children live with their parents throughout adulthood and work to support the family while their older parents take care of the kids and the home. Although I could say that only about females, since the men of any age tend to drink all day and either go fishing or drive a taxi to bring in extra money.

How many of you believe that immediate family members should stay very close, physically in regards to housing arrangements, to one another.I believe our "natural" state is tribal - to be surrounded by a lot of closely and vaguely related people. A bit like what we see in so-called primitive peoples.

Technology may bring isolation and fragmentation, but ya just can't help but lurve the comfort, convencience and life-expectancy.

Today more people are self-sufficient in their older age.
Years ago, people stayed close to family to take care of the elderly members.

Today more people are self-sufficient in their older age.
Years ago, people stayed close to family to take care of the elderly members.Absolutely. That's what we see in poor countries today. There are few jobs and the extended family is your welfare state.

Good points, Blob and Dan. :)

I think that living with or very close to many family members is a good thing. You have a natural support system for anything that could go wrong, and the company of people you love.

Thanks Darkfantasy.

I think that living with or very close to many family members is a good thing. You have a natural support system for anything that could go wrong, and the company of people you love.That is correct, but perhaps incomplete.

I don't think we can necessarily import the ideal model into modern, fast, globalised life. You may have lots of close friends and family nearby as I do, but here I am chatting to a stranger at the other side of the world. Technology and freedom are irresistable.

Also we must be careful not to romanticise traditional life too much. Who knows the repressed abuse, rape and torture that goes on within family and tribal settings. Perhaps we are liberating ourselves! :thumbs:

My mothers family was enormous, she has 14 siblings. With her being the youngest, I only met 3 of them. So I can't say I had a large extended family.

All that aside, I wonder how much dependence is bred by living close to, or with, a large extended family. I think I'm much more independent having grown up sans such a clan.

You might be right, Blob. However, humans were made to be dependent upon each other, to live in groups and support each other. We are social animals after all. :)

I don't see the big deal about dependence vs. independence. We as a culture admire people who are independent, thinking and working for themselves. Therefore, we generally despise people who still live with their parents as adults. We call them losers or slackers.

I don't think it's a big deal for an adult to live with their parents though. My boyfriend is 22 and he still lives with his parents. I admire the fact that he helps his parents and is a contributing member of their family. He has a full time job (more than full time actually, he generally works more than 50 hours per week), bought his own car, and I think he's more of a help to his family than a drain on them.

DF, 22 and living "at home" is not a big deal. 30 and still there might cause some problems. Especially if he decides to bring a wife into the house, and start raising his own family.

My mothers family was enormous, she has 14 siblings. With her being the youngest, I only met 3 of them. So I can't say I had a large extended family.

All that aside, I wonder how much dependence is bred by living close to, or with, a large extended family. I think I'm much more independent having grown up sans such a clan.

Amen! Ditched them as fast as I could. Life couldn't be better. :D

I left my parents when I was 14 yo and haven't been better since. Some folk are still on the titty after 30 yo, what a shame.


Truthfully, my best friends are more my family then my family. It's really better that way.

DF, 22 and living "at home" is not a big deal. 30 and still there might cause some problems. Especially if he decides to bring a wife into the house, and start raising his own family.
That's true. But what if it's his house and his parents are just living with him and being taken care of? That's kind of a good system, especially with older parents. My parents are pretty young for me, but I have a 5 year old sister, and by the time she's 20 my parents will be almost old enough to retire!

That's true. But what if it's his house and his parents are just living with him and being taken care of? That's kind of a good system, especially with older parents. My parents are pretty young for me, but I have a 5 year old sister, and by the time she's 20 my parents will be almost old enough to retire!

I'd have to smother them in their sleep if it were me.

How can someone live and be happy with their parents without some police record following is beyond me. I'm lucky if I can last a week visit with mine.

I like family unity. I also like not planning my sex life around my parents...ewwww....

Depends on the parents I suppose, Imp. I could live with my step-mom forever but my dad definitely gets on my nerves, and so does my mom...

That's true. But what if it's his house and his parents are just living with him and being taken care of? That's kind of a good system, especially with older parents. My parents are pretty young for me, but I have a 5 year old sister, and by the time she's 20 my parents will be almost old enough to retire!


I can't answer that question. So much is dependent upon the family dynamic. My mother and father tried taking in my grand mother, but no one was home, during the day, and she almost burnt down the house. I tried to take in my father, when he was in his 70's. I was never home, and he didn't care for my wife. It just didn't work. Others may have better luck.

Depends on the parents I suppose, Imp. I could live with my step-mom forever but my dad definitely gets on my nerves, and so does my mom...
Yeah, I suppose you are right. I'm getting to know my momma, she's cool, I wouldn't mind her hanging out here, at least for a longer time then my daddy. To hell with my mom in law or daddy hanging out here, I'd likely kill 'em.


I'm glad I moved away from them all, money hunger bitchs and god pushin' preachers. I'd much rather have my best friends move in then them, they are more like family to me then blood.

Edit...More power to the people who can do it though.

Yeah, I suppose you are right. I'm getting to know my momma, she's cool, I wouldn't mind her hanging out here, at least for a longer time then my daddy. To hell with my mom in law or daddy hanging out here, I'd likely kill 'em.


I'm glad I moved away from them all, money hunger bitchs and god pushin' preachers. I'd much rather have my best friends move in then them, they are more like family to me then blood.

Edit...More power to the people who can do it though.

Hey Imp :) I think that your "Avatar" is going to give "Michelle" a run for her money :) It is an interesting "kicker"!

tuck :)

Here is a new question, "How do we "sex" up All Forums.net?"

After all folks are folks! At least the normal guys are :) Oh, and this too, we are exploring a "Gay" reality in the topic, "Is anybody here Christian?" After all sex is sex. Like the old saying goes, "Go chase a rolling doughnet!" :) And sometimes something about a "knot hole" in a board?" :)

Anyway Imp, I think you are giving Michelle a run for her money :) and the question is, "How far can All forums.net run this and still not be considered "adult only?" Originally All forums.net was a place for High School kids to hang out and study adults, relative to mesh with adulthood, it was you know?

tuck again

Hey Imp :) I think that your "Avatar" is going to give "Michelle" a run for her money :) It is an interesting "kicker"!

tuck :)

Here is a new question, "How do we "sex" up All Forums.net?"

After all folks are folks! At least the normal guys are :) Oh, and this too, we are exploring a "Gay" reality in the topic, "Is anybody here Christian?" After all sex is sex. Like the old saying goes, "Go chase a rolling doughnet!" :) And sometimes something about a "knot hole" in a board?" :)

Anyway Imp, I think you are giving Michelle a run for her money :) and the question is, "How far can All forums.net run this and still not be considered "adult only?" Originally All forums.net was a place for High School kids to hang out and study adults, relative to mesh with adulthood, it was you know?

tuck again
Good then, It'll give the high school kids the chance to know life isn't always as it appears.There are multiple roads you can follow thru life, choose wisely.
pffft on michelle.

If the admins have a problem with my av, then they know how to contact me, no? So far, no word from them, so don't sweat it, tuck!:drinktoth

Oh and this? Can we have an "Avatar" that shows human and animal bodies in extreme "truma"? I have been on messageboards where nobody cared if this was done.

What is the future of All forums.net? Imp :) ,Rogue can go too far! It can you know?! :) Imp, you and Michelle are setting precedent. You Imp and those like you, are not actually up against me. All forums.net is a community.

Imp, you, if you don't adjust to things abit, are headed down the path to being banned. Sparky has cut me, and others like me, alot of slack. But none of us would be doing what you are doing. "Rogue" can be too "Rogue" in a functional civilized reality. Humankind ain't that far out of "whack", at least relative to All Forums.net and general humankind.

Ok? Imp :)

Party on :) !

tuck

Oh and this? Can we have an "Avatar" that shows human and animal bodies in extreme "truma"? I have been on messageboards where nobody cared if this was done.

What is the future of All forums.net? Imp :) ,Rogue can go too far! It can you know?! :) Imp, you and Michelle are setting precedent. You Imp and those like you, are not actually up against me. All forums.net is a community.

Imp, you, if you don't adjust to things abit, are headed down the path to being banned. Sparky has cut me, and others like me, alot of slack. But none of us would be doing what you are doing. "Rogue" can be too "Rogue" in a functional civilized reality. Humankind ain't that far out of "whack", at least relative to All Forums.net and general humankind.

Ok? Imp :)

Party on :) !

tuck
Tuck.

I don't give a shit what the admins think about me here. If they wanna ban me, they can.

I use my avs as expression of who I am, and if that bothers them, oh well. I can't change who I am.

I'm not in a competion with michelle or anyone, I'm in search of myself.

Maybe I am out of whack, I'm not like your normal folk, and the admins and members here kinda seem to know that.I ain't here to be rogue, I'm here to be me. If the mods don't like, then so be it.

'Say la vive'.
Imp

I predict this latest attempt by tucker to stir up shit will fail just as miserably as the rest do.

tuckers trying to stir up shit?

Oh yeah.

In American culture, living with your parents during adult-hood is a sign of a "loser" or someone who can't move on. While others, feel as if its a given fact that kids, especially the eldest son continue to live with their parents and take care of them, both financially and for health reasons.
I think if living with parents brings greater collective happiness for all participating, and all participants are willing, then there is nothing wrong with it. Calling the live-in person "loser" in this case has little meaning. I think in this country more often than not when a person is living with their parents, at least one of the parties is not too happy about it, that's why it's garnered negative impressions.

I don't believe the children are obligated to take care of their parents. Not all parents took good care of their children, for one thing. Also some will be very irresponsible once the children have grown and are expected to take care of parents.

I don't plan on having children, but if I have children I would prefer to be completely self-reliant when I'm old (barring disaster).

In agrarian societies it was the norm for children to remain either with parents (and grandparents) or at least live in close proximity to them. It meant they could work the land together and act as a safety net in times of need.

In today's faster paced world living with or very near parents is no longer necessary. There are other social and fiscal safety nets available and with modern communications and travel we can be actually closer even though further apart in miles.

First generation immigrants tend to live closer to family than those who have lived here for generations. Perhaps it is the feeling of belonging they find necessary in what is still in some ways a strange land.

I have four children, two live fairly close, withing fifteen or so miles of me and my wife and two live hours away, two and a half in one case and four in the other. I talk with my children on the phone at least once a week and usually about three times a week. Yes, I do get to see the kids and grandkids who live closest a bit more often but I see them all regularly. In fact, my wife and I will be driving to Delaware to babysit this Saturday. In today's world we think nothing of driving a few hours to do something like that. The major difference is that when we see our kids who live further away the visits tend to be longer, a few days rather than a few hours.

It is possible to be a close family without being in close proximity to each other.

Tuck.

I don't give a shit what the admins think about me here. If they wanna ban me, they can.

I use my avs as expression of who I am, and if that bothers them, oh well. I can't change who I am.

I'm not in a competion with michelle or anyone, I'm in search of myself.

Maybe I am out of whack, I'm not like your normal folk, and the admins and members here kinda seem to know that.I ain't here to be rogue, I'm here to be me. If the mods don't like, then so be it.

'Say la vive'.
Imp

Imp, I am not actually against you. I love folks that are "rogue". What we are up against here is that you are "pissed!". And you have stepped into the same reality that "Warrior" and "NightHawk" did (and maybe sometimes me :) !).

What I am up against here, is that you are "Headed" toward, "Thermal Nuke!"

If you do, "Thermal Nuke!", this message board will loose your creative input. I do not feel that this is a good thing! Ok?

Imp, calm down, just a tiny bit (but not too much :) )! It is the a hundred years war thing! And you are a player! :) Welcome to All Forums.net!

Imp, I don't want you to get banned. You keep things stirred up (Creative Challenge), You push the envelope (which is actually a tricky reality in a civilized sense :) Which is why we love that part!).

I got here too late to save Warrior and Nighthawk. If I had got here sooner :) I would have figured something out :) before that happened.

I saved Freethinker :) and that boy is getting smarter and he is going to have alot of fun! I love you Imp, just hunker down :) and have some fun! If you "Thermal Nuke", and you are dangerous by the way, we are going to loose you! I would rather that that didn't happen. Ok? Imp you are a gift, it is just that you are abit volatile. Hunker down and study things and don't self destruct. If you do they win :) > We hate it when that happens :) !

tuck

Oh and Imp, if you would like, I will go back through this "topic" and find out who "pissed" you off and "piss" them off! Just for fun :)

And actually get away with it :) you know how it is :)

In the immortal words of DanF," Ain't life grand!"

If you would like me to Imp? It can actually be done. Without "Nuking". Ok?

Love you Imp!

tuck

If anybody here lives like Walter Mitty, it'd be tucker.

I was kind of thinking he would finish his post with, My precious.

I agree with most of you on being there for your parents during their senior citizen days, but I just couldn't imagine living with them during my bachelorhood, my moms still pretty young and far away from retirement, 37.
I agree with you 500lbsguerilla, I just can't imagine scheduling my sex life around my parents.

If anybody here lives like Walter Mitty, it'd be tucker.

Nappy you are the one that don't get a "chick" :) Maybe women are actually quite smart :)

tuck

Every culture(s) have different social norms that are acceptable to them, but that would seem unacceptable in a different place. This is widely considered as Cultural Relativism.
If you are interested in this concept, then wiki or google it.

How many of you believe that immediate family members should stay very close, physically in regards to housing arrangements, to one another. In widely popular American societies, from what I've seen, sons and daughters usually leave the house hold after college, this doesn't include dorm-ing in college. I have also found this prevalent in many other non-white American peoples, especially an increase of this from the Asian/South East Asian American peoples. This is still a very new idea in my family, seeing as I'm dorming at Up-State New York and my family lives in New York City. I'm getting use to the life style of being on my own, eating on my own, and doing what ever I want. The thing that I keep asking my self now is whether this life will continue after college. How many of you still live with your parents after college. How do you all feel about moving to a distant state, especially if it means furthering your career, but if it also means leaving behind parents, cousins, etc?
In American culture, living with your parents during adult-hood is a sign of a "loser" or someone who can't move on. While others, feel as if its a given fact that kids, especially the eldest son continue to live with their parents and take care of them, both financially and for health reasons.

I'm a 3rd year, 19-year-old college student who still lives with my parents. I know that I would not leave until I get married, mostly due to tribal/cultural/religious reasons. Even men here don't leave the house until they're married, but it's fine if they sleep over at a friend's house while girls here should only sleep at her house, period.
Do I sometimes feel like I'd like to sleep over at a friend's house or have my own place and be independent? Definitely.

It's not only about living in my own place, it's also the idea of going out. You can't really do much without permission, and even then, the idea of girls out by themselves is frowned upon in this society. Personally, I get to go out with friends but I know many girls whose parents wouldn't let them go out to a public place such as a mall without their parents or brother around; logic is: to avoid her getting a bad reputation. Kind of silly, I know, but it's the way it goes. And yeah, guys can go out as they please until the wee hours of the night, can you get any more hypocritical?
Also, when it comes to travelling alone, it's a no-no for girls but a yes-yes for boys. Even when it's a school/college-sponsored trip, many girls wouldn't go. Living in Dubai now is like the 50's in the US? I know that I and many of my friends would definitely not treat our children the same way, so there's hope for change. I also see some change in some of my friends who already have open-minded parents, but those are quite rare...

Oh, and about relationships outside marriage, forget it. If you're a man, chances are you will be given a blind eye. If you're an Emirati girl, however, and were caught doing the nasty, you'll probably get beaten by family members.

I'm a 3rd year, 19-year-old college student who still lives with my parents. I know that I would not leave until I get married, mostly due to tribal/cultural/religious reasons. Even men here don't leave the house until they're married, but it's fine if they sleep over at a friend's house while girls here should only sleep at her house, period.
Do I sometimes feel like I'd like to sleep over at a friend's house or have my own place and be independent? Definitely.

It's not only about living in my own place, it's also the idea of going out. You can't really do much without permission, and even then, the idea of girls out by themselves is frowned upon in this society. Personally, I get to go out with friends but I know many girls whose parents wouldn't let them go out to a public place such as a mall without their parents or brother around; logic is: to avoid her getting a bad reputation. Kind of silly, I know, but it's the way it goes. And yeah, guys can go out as they please until the wee hours of the night, can you get any more hypocritical?
Also, when it comes to travelling alone, it's a no-no for girls but a yes-yes for boys. Even when it's a school/college-sponsored trip, many girls wouldn't go. Living in Dubai now is like the 50's in the US? I know that I and many of my friends would definitely not treat our children the same way, so there's hope for change. I also see some change in some of my friends who already have open-minded parents, but those are quite rare...

Oh, and about relationships outside marriage, forget it. If you're a man, chances are you will be given a blind eye. If you're an Emirati girl, however, and were caught doing the nasty, you'll probably get beaten by family members.

Sweety :) just for the record, there are alot of folks in the US, both Christian and non Christian, that would agree with your culture's restrictions. Our young girls do get into alot of trouble that ruins their lives. And actually in the US most parents don't have time to keep track of their kids, because trying to make a decent living (economically speaking) for most people leaves them very little time for home life. Kids just run loose. They are for the most part all hormones and no brains.

Origionally women got their freedoms because they were needed in the work force. Good cheap labor :) There are alot of US women today that would gladly change places with you Sweety :) Granted most of them are poor or middle class. The thing in our culture is that women want to be loved for their minds not their bodies. One reads things about the West and thinks that everything is about the body, but it isn't. Not in real life.

And as a guy I would like to kick this in, Arabic women are the most beautiful women in the world. You can completely cover them up and put a vail on them and they will still stop traffic :) God help mankind if they were allowed to run around loose in mini skirts or short shorts or tight jeans and tank tops :) ! Arabic women, if allowed to run around loose, would rule the world!

Love you :)

tuck

Thanks for your input tuck, and for the compliment, that was sweet of you

Thanks for your input tuck, and for the compliment, that was sweet of you

Sweety, You are welcome! Just remenber that there are two sides to every thing and that the noisy side is not necessarily the complete picture.

Most of what you are exposed to relative to America, is the noisy side, the rich, and advertising. Normal America is actually none of these things. They are just people trying to get by.

There are $250,000 to $350,000 houses going up beside me where I live. This means that people (couples) are going to spend most of their income and lives just paying for a place for themselves and their children to live. And most of them have to drive 90 miles in all kinds of weather just to get to work. They buy a house here because those houses are considered cheap houses and they can afford to purchase them. They can't afford ones closer to work.

And they are cheap houses. They are built so cheap that most won't last thirty years. By the time that they are paid off they will be garbage. What choice do they have? You have to have a place to live. And those people are not the rich, they are just middle income sacrificing their lives just to have some kind of life and a place for their kids to be sheltered.

America may or may not be the Great Satan, only time will tell. In the meantime, America is mostly just made up of people just trying to get by. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. And we all (us normal folks) hope for the future and that our kids can have a better life, just like all good parents do.

tuck