Napsterbater
09-02-2007, 10:49 PM
Borghunter recently told me in IM that I remind him of Zapp Brannigan, of Futurama. Being the insufferable egoist I am, I immediately looked him up in Wikipedia. Lo and behold, I'm just like the guy!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zapp_Brannigan
Some hilarious parallels:
"Brannigan envisions himself a "ladies' man," yet is not only incredibly sexist, but also completely clueless in matters of romance (one entry in his book of pickup-lines is "I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies" - "Amazon Women in the Mood")."
"On first meeting Leela, on or about April 13, 3000, he ended up having sex with her (she was motivated by pity). In later encounters, he invariably refers to this interlude, at one point even implying Leela was the first woman he'd slept with (Zapp: "You're the only woman who ever loved me!" - Leela: "I never loved you!" - Zapp: "I mean physically!")"
"He is also frequently seen with female companions who are obviously prostitutes, or even men in drag."
"Brannigan's pretensions of being suave are belied by his ignorance of how to properly pronounce words such as champagne (he pronounces the silent g), bravo, encore, and guacamole (he treats the e as if it were silent), though, strangely, he has no problem with chutzpah or karaoke. This may be due to his "very sexy" learning disability, "sexlexia"."
"He highly prizes his singing (calling himself "the Velour Fog", a parody of "The Velvet Fog"), doing a seemingly William Shatner-like version of Lola (He replaces the name Lola with Leela) to win back Leela's attention on Open-Mike Karaoke Night on an orbital restaurant. The results of his singing are obvious, as everyone runs screaming to escape pods and leaving, including the crew. Zapp is able to ignore the fact his singing made everyone run."
"Brannigan is arrogant, incompetent, and cocky. His battle tactics are impulsive, generally stupid, and almost always unnecessary."
"He has written at least one book about military tactics, titled Zapp Brannigan's Big Book of War, based loosely on Sun Tzu's The Art of War, and looks like a Dr. Seuss book with his face on it."
"Brannigan's victories tend to come from using excessive force to subdue lesser opponents,"
"Brannigan briefly took leave from the DOOP to serve as captain of the luxury space cruise ship Titanic, which ended up destroyed after he altered the direct, safe flight plan for an indirect, more challenging one, believing that in doing so "we might just get some kind of gravity boost, or something.""
"As is apparent, Zapp Brannigan does not wear any pants. From the disgusted reaction of Kif while following Brannigan up a ladder, he apparently eschews underpants as well."
If I was captain of a fucking spaceship, and I could get away with it, I wouldn't wear any pants either! ROFL!
If you can't laugh at yourself, you don't live a life worth living.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zapp_Brannigan
Some hilarious parallels:
"Brannigan envisions himself a "ladies' man," yet is not only incredibly sexist, but also completely clueless in matters of romance (one entry in his book of pickup-lines is "I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies" - "Amazon Women in the Mood")."
"On first meeting Leela, on or about April 13, 3000, he ended up having sex with her (she was motivated by pity). In later encounters, he invariably refers to this interlude, at one point even implying Leela was the first woman he'd slept with (Zapp: "You're the only woman who ever loved me!" - Leela: "I never loved you!" - Zapp: "I mean physically!")"
"He is also frequently seen with female companions who are obviously prostitutes, or even men in drag."
"Brannigan's pretensions of being suave are belied by his ignorance of how to properly pronounce words such as champagne (he pronounces the silent g), bravo, encore, and guacamole (he treats the e as if it were silent), though, strangely, he has no problem with chutzpah or karaoke. This may be due to his "very sexy" learning disability, "sexlexia"."
"He highly prizes his singing (calling himself "the Velour Fog", a parody of "The Velvet Fog"), doing a seemingly William Shatner-like version of Lola (He replaces the name Lola with Leela) to win back Leela's attention on Open-Mike Karaoke Night on an orbital restaurant. The results of his singing are obvious, as everyone runs screaming to escape pods and leaving, including the crew. Zapp is able to ignore the fact his singing made everyone run."
"Brannigan is arrogant, incompetent, and cocky. His battle tactics are impulsive, generally stupid, and almost always unnecessary."
"He has written at least one book about military tactics, titled Zapp Brannigan's Big Book of War, based loosely on Sun Tzu's The Art of War, and looks like a Dr. Seuss book with his face on it."
"Brannigan's victories tend to come from using excessive force to subdue lesser opponents,"
"Brannigan briefly took leave from the DOOP to serve as captain of the luxury space cruise ship Titanic, which ended up destroyed after he altered the direct, safe flight plan for an indirect, more challenging one, believing that in doing so "we might just get some kind of gravity boost, or something.""
"As is apparent, Zapp Brannigan does not wear any pants. From the disgusted reaction of Kif while following Brannigan up a ladder, he apparently eschews underpants as well."
If I was captain of a fucking spaceship, and I could get away with it, I wouldn't wear any pants either! ROFL!
If you can't laugh at yourself, you don't live a life worth living.