When me and my friends posted on Yahoo, we were 'based' on their Romance & Relationship section... under Romantic Advice. Not surprising that some of the regs on SMW Speaks don't venture out much into political or religious discussions... we preferred to talk about the juicier topics -- like LOVE.

So, here's a place to talk about that stuff. Because there are often young people among us, let's keep it relatively clean (no x-rated talk, please).

Feel free to share your thoughts on the one thing we truly all have in common... the need to get along with the opposite sex. (Or, in some cases, the same sex.) Whatever floats your boat... this is the place to talk about it.

Here's the quote that started the whole Yahoo saga for us and still seems relevant today. What do you think about this statement?

"The difference between men & women? Women look for ONE man to satisfy ALL her needs. Men look for ALL women to satisfy his ONE need."

Agree or disagree?

:)
SMW

Foolishness. Women are more likely to be dissatisfied with her man's lack of a sex drive than vice versa. You can point to the glut of impotence drugs on the market for proof of that.

Foolishness. Women are more likely to be dissatisfied with her man's lack of a sex drive than vice versa. You can point to the glut of impotence drugs on the market for proof of that.

:lolhit:

My, my, but you are young and naive, ain't you Nappy?

In my experience, men NEVER lose their sex drive... but they do lose the ability to perform. Hence, the impotence drugs.

Which term do you hear more... dirty ole man or dirty ole woman??

;)
SMW

You just happen to be more attracted to men with stronger sex drives. That speaks more to your own unacknowledged drive than to the men you happen to get involved with.

"The difference between men & women? Women look for ONE man to satisfy ALL her needs. Men look for ALL women to satisfy his ONE need."

... as a generalization it probably has truth.

And that is why the divorce rate is so high.

No "one" individual can ever satisfy a person's needs long term. If everyone's goal was self actualization, less people would marry and even less would have children.

The world would be a better place.

You just happen to be more attracted to men with stronger sex drives. That speaks more to your own unacknowledged drive than to the men you happen to get involved with.

Well, I can't argue with that statement. I'll be the first to admit I've never found a man with little or no sex drive to be very appealing.

Wait a minute... I've never MET a man with little or no sex drive! Is there such a thing?

Love? Bah humbug.:mad:

Well, I can't argue with that statement. I'll be the first to admit I've never found a man with little or no sex drive to be very appealing.

Wait a minute... I've never MET a man with little or no sex drive! Is there such a thing?

I dunno....LOL....I've never met him either!

And that is why the divorce rate is so high.
That's a very poor generalization to base such a claim on. Men are not mindless sex animals. Nor are women the ridiculously over-complicated basket cases illustrated. These are fronts put forth by both men and women when, if you look a little deeper, you find that the opposite often holds reign. Real truth in this area is harder to come by than a little bit of folk wisdom.

Love? Bah humbug.:mad:

Now, Mary. Just because you happen to be between lovers, don't be cynical.

Besides, love is one thing. Cute lil poolboys are a whole 'nuther subject.

;)
:hula:

Wait a minute... I've never MET a man with little or no sex drive! Is there such a thing?
You have sex with every man you meet?

That's a very poor generalization to base such a claim on. Men are not mindless sex animals. Nor are women the ridiculously over-complicated basket cases illustrated. These are fronts put forth by both men and women when, if you look a little deeper, you find that the opposite often holds reign. Real truth in this area is harder to come by than a little bit of folk wisdom.

What you call 'folk wisdom' is actually a quote from Penthouse Magazine and a story about the differences between men and women. I find it VERY true (in most cases). Of course, as with all generalizations, there are exceptions. But in MY experience, it speaks volumes not only about men's outlook on sex, but women's desire for a monogynous relationship.

You have sex with every man you meet?

Pretty personal question, Nappy. Let's just say I was referring to men I've 'met' in the biblical sense. And yes, having been single for quite awhile, there have been more than a few in my life.

Now, Mary. Just because you happen to be between lovers, don't be cynical.

Besides, love is one thing. Cute lil poolboys are a whole 'nuther subject.

;)
:hula:

Men is bastards. For sure.

Pretty personal question, Nappy. Let's just say I was referring to men I've 'met' in the biblical sense. And yes, having been single for quite awhile, there have been more than a few in my life.
Well, how can you go about using your own experience to make generalizations about men when you just admitted that your source pool is biased? So you've met every man in the state of Texas with a sex drive. That doesn't say jack diddly about the differences between men and women. Nor do anecdotes from Penthouse, whose interviewees are subject to the same bias.

Well, most of the men I meet are very desirous of a monogamous relationship, and I've met far more women who will admit to having had casual sexual affairs with men than men who admit the same thing. In fact, I've had a tough time meeting all these men who get casual sex all the time from women despite my efforts to do so, in order to learn from these rare creatures! And I meet lots of men, and lots of women, subject to no such biases.

Well, most of the men I meet are very desirous of a monogamous relationship, and I've met far more women who will admit to having had casual sexual affairs with men than men who admit the same thing. In fact, I've had a tough time meeting all these men who get casual sex all the time from women despite my efforts to do so, in order to learn from these rare creatures! And I meet lots of men, and lots of women, subject to no such biases.

They want a monogamous relationship to start out, but after a few years, it may not stay that way. I would say that men really are quite capable of compartmentalizing sex as an act separate from love. Women, not so much, although with the freedom there is today, that may be changing.

I would love to meet these "monogamous" minded men. I've met very few.

Well, most of the men I meet are very desirous of a monogamous relationship, and I've met far more women who will admit to having had casual sexual affairs with men than men who admit the same thing. In fact, I've had a tough time meeting all these men who get casual sex all the time from women despite my efforts to do so, in order to learn from these rare creatures! And I meet lots of men, and lots of women, subject to no such biases.

That's interesting because we have had this conversation at home a million times about male vs female.

He contends that if we split up, I would have another man in my bed within a few weeks. While I do not deny it is possible, I do not think it probable since there are many qualities I look for. I contend he would do the same with a woman within days. He says no.

I think there are a zillion women out there that want into his pants... he tells me no but he can specifically name several men who would be into mine if given the opportunity.

I think the difference is yes the opportunity would be there for me, I would not want it. While men may desire it, it is more difficult for them to come by.

Hell, I'd be happy just to meet a woman as horny as I am, but those are few and far between

When me and my friends posted on Yahoo, we were 'based' on their Romance & Relationship section... under Romantic Advice. Not surprising that some of the regs on SMW Speaks don't venture out much into political or religious discussions... we preferred to talk about the juicier topics -- like LOVE.

So, here's a place to talk about that stuff. Because there are often young people among us, let's keep it relatively clean (no x-rated talk, please).

Feel free to share your thoughts on the one thing we truly all have in common... the need to get along with the opposite sex. (Or, in some cases, the same sex.) Whatever floats your boat... this is the place to talk about it.

Here's the quote that started the whole Yahoo saga for us and still seems relevant today. What do you think about this statement?

"The difference between men & women? Women look for ONE man to satisfy ALL her needs. Men look for ALL women to satisfy his ONE need."

Agree or disagree?

:)
SMW

I tend to agree with this based on my friends' experiences that are married now - all of them had their husbands cheat on them -and my friends did not cheat at all - and they have stayed with their husbands - and the guys have not cheated again. I know what I'll hear next ' how do they know that? How do you think they found out the first time ??- women just know - men are not good at hiding it.

I've not had it happen to me personally - they've been faithful. My problem is, I get bored and move on.:eek: I guess I like too much of a challenge.:cool:

Hell, I'd be happy just to meet a woman as horny as I am, but those are few and far between


Mike already has her:lolhit:

That's interesting because we have had this conversation at home a million times about male vs female.

He contends that if we split up, I would have another man in my bed within a few weeks. While I do not deny it is possible, I do not think it probable since there are many qualities I look for. I contend he would do the same with a woman within days. He says no.

I think there are a zillion women out there that want into his pants... he tells me no but he can specifically name several men who would be into mine if given the opportunity.

I think the difference is yes the opportunity would be there for me, I would not want it. While men may desire it, it is more difficult for them to come by.

Absolutely, Sal. Sexual conquest is definitely one area where women get what they want more than men. Unfortunately (for men anyway), very few women live to bed a new man every week or so. I doubt there are many men who'd say they've turned down more opportunities than they've actually enjoyed.

Men with no sex drive??

LMAO

That's the best thing I've heard all day.

Thanks for the laugh.

Men with no sex drive??

LMAO

That's the best thing I've heard all day.

Thanks for the laugh.



LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO....

But...I have to say.....I've known ONE!!! ;)

Hell, I'd be happy just to meet a woman as horny as I am, but those are few and far between


Hello....my name is Ty.....have we met before??

:lolhit:

in my opinion,sex isn't THE most important thing. If I can't talk to the guy afterward or any other time,theres something wrong and I lose interest in him. Don't get me wrong,sex is awesome and love it when it's happening,but I want more than to buff the bedspread all the time.

in my opinion,sex isn't THE most important thing. If I can't talk to the guy afterward or any other time,theres something wrong and I lose interest in him. Don't get me wrong,sex is awesome and love it when it's happening,but I want more than to buff the bedspread all the time.


I agree but Im like a guy when it comes to sex....I'm all about the O and I want to go to sleep afterwards..we can talk tomorrow.

I agree but Im like a guy when it comes to sex....I'm all about the O and I want to go to sleep afterwards..we can talk tomorrow.
Thats a typical womans response. A guy doesnt want to sleep, he wants the next round. A wonan has the big O and says "OK, I got mine, thats good enough". A guy says "Theres a lot more where that came from".

I agree but Im like a guy when it comes to sex....I'm all about the O and I want to go to sleep afterwards..we can talk tomorrow.

That is absolutely dead on. I think if the relationship is good... get at it, and then let's move the hell on to something else. I think women who want men to "hold them" after have jumped into bed too fast.

And who the hell needs to talk... we talk non stop. If talk is happening it had better be specifically about what we are doing and what is next on the bed agenda... otherwise... STFU.

Once done... back to the movie or off to sleep.

Thats a typical womans response. A guy doesnt want to sleep, he wants the next round. A wonan has the big O and says "OK, I got mine, thats good enough". A guy says "Theres a lot more where that came from".


Yep because the chances of guy gives us 2 in one night...again...LMAO

Thats a typical womans response. A guy doesnt want to sleep, he wants the next round. A wonan has the big O and says "OK, I got mine, thats good enough". A guy says "Theres a lot more where that came from".


Oh really?? I wanna see some proof of that :rolleyes:

Thats a typical womans response. A guy doesnt want to sleep, he wants the next round. A wonan has the big O and says "OK, I got mine, thats good enough". A guy says "Theres a lot more where that came from".

Wrong balloon boy.... :D The big O comes after a series of little O's... and we can go forever ... you poor buggers on the other hand... well ... once is enough eh? :D:eek:

Yep because the chances of guy gives us 2 in one night...again...LMAO
Maybe if you didnt roll over and go to sleep you might find out

Absolutely, Sal. Sexual conquest is definitely one area where women get what they want more than men. Unfortunately (for men anyway), very few women live to bed a new man every week or so. I doubt there are many men who'd say they've turned down more opportunities than they've actually enjoyed.

Absolutely, and that's the way nature intended it for survival purposes.

Can you imagine having to train a new one weekly? Geez, that would define my worst nightmare. No honey, higher, almost, yeah, now over a tad to the left... now softer... okay faster....

Makes me all kind of fainty just imagining it. :D

Maybe if you didnt roll over and go to sleep you might find out


Maybe if I didn't have to wake up at 5 to tend to a 1 year old, I would be an all nighter.

Oh really?? I wanna see some proof of that :rolleyes:
I'm still waiting on the terms of the wager you proposed

Absolutely, and that's the way nature intended it for survival purposes.

Can you imagine having to train a new one weekly? Geez, that would define my worst nightmare. No honey, higher, almost, yeah, now over a tad to the left... now softer... okay faster....

Makes me all kind of fainty just imagining it. :D


LOL

Yeah and with the enjoyment that comes from vibrators...we can be selective when it comes to men and how often we want them to stay over.

Absolutely, and that's the way nature intended it for survival purposes.

Can you imagine having to train a new one weekly? Geez, that would define my worst nightmare. No honey, higher, almost, yeah, now over a tad to the left... now softer... okay faster....

Makes me all kind of fainty just imagining it. :D
You forgot "deeper, deeper, Thats all you got?"

Maybe if I didn't have to wake up at 5 to tend to a 1 year old, I would be an all nighter.
Excuses. Thats all I ever hear.

LOL

Yeah and with the enjoyment that comes from vibrators...we can be selective when it comes to men and how often we want them to stay over.


Pffffffft...ain't that the truth... that boyfriend's name is Bob and you can have him over when you are by yourself or as a welcome addition to make a threesome.

Bob is a wonderful thing. Bob stands for BATTERY OPERATED BOYFRIEND. :woohoo:

Well, how can you go about using your own experience to make generalizations about men when you just admitted that your source pool is biased? So you've met every man in the state of Texas with a sex drive. That doesn't say jack diddly about the differences between men and women. Nor do anecdotes from Penthouse, whose interviewees are subject to the same bias.

Well, most of the men I meet are very desirous of a monogamous relationship, and I've met far more women who will admit to having had casual sexual affairs with men than men who admit the same thing. In fact, I've had a tough time meeting all these men who get casual sex all the time from women despite my efforts to do so, in order to learn from these rare creatures! And I meet lots of men, and lots of women, subject to no such biases.

So, what you're saying is that my experiences are worth jack diddly, but your VAST experience with what men TELL YOU about their relationships is more accurate?

Better sit back and read, Nappy. You have a lot to learn, darlin.

;)
SMW

I'm still waiting on the terms of the wager you proposed


LMAO....wondered if you had forgotten about that already.

Just so ya know.....it appears as if you would be a winner even if you were to lose ;)

You forgot "deeper, deeper, Thats all you got?"

Well we hope you get the drift along the way... step by step gets tiresome, noise in bed is best left for reasons other than instruction ..:cool: :p

Excuses. Thats all I ever hear.


Well then I guess since you brought out the fists...im bringing out mine... i have sex pretty much every night Ride...how many times you had it this week??

((((RIDE))))

And THAT is why you like me.

Pffffffft...ain't that the truth... that boyfriend's name is Bob and you can have him over when you are by yourself or as a welcome addition to make a threesome.

Bob is a wonderful thing. Bob stands for BATTERY OPERATED BOYFRIEND. :woohoo:

Luv it.

And who said some words just don't translate? That's the exact same thing we call 'em here.

;)
SMW

P.S. Mine's called AC/DCOB... no, he's not from the ME, but he does plug into the wall!!!

:woohoo:

Well then I guess since you brought out the fists...im bringing out mine... i have sex pretty much every night Ride...how many times you had it this week??

((((RIDE))))

And THAT is why you like me.

Not gonna say WHY I'm saying this......but, I think you need to re-phrase that question a little ;)

Well we hope you get the drift along the way... step by step gets tiresome, noise in bed is best left for reasons other than instruction ..:cool: :p
Ya mean like "OUCH"?

Not gonna say WHY I'm saying this......but, I think you need to re-phrase that question a little ;)


:eek:

you are so dirty

and THAT is why I like you!

:thumbs:

"The difference between men & women? Women look for ONE man to satisfy ALL her needs. Men look for ALL women to satisfy his ONE need."

Agree or disagree?

:)
SMW


agree.

humans, especially men, are not meant to be monogamous. monogamy is a CHOICE. not a biological thing. that's why i think societys with monogamous rules were originally made for women, not men.


never marry someone who you fall in "love" with. whenever things go bad, it may seem worse than it is. which makes me wonder if this is why so many marriages end up in divorce so soon. marry a friend. when you argue, it doesn't hurt so much. but keep in mind that sex eventually is just something you do to take the pressure off.

i marred a friend, and we've been married for almost 15 years. everyone we know who married because they were in "love" their marriages never lasted long.

Well then I guess since you brought out the fists...im bringing out mine... i have sex pretty much every night Ride...how many times you had it this week??

((((RIDE))))

And THAT is why you like me.
You already know the answer to that one

agree.

humans, especially men, are not meant to be monogamous. monogamy is a CHOICE. not a biological thing. that's why i think societys with monogamous rules were originally made for women, not men.


never marry someone who you fall in "love" with. whenever things go bad, it may seem worse than it is. which makes me wonder if this is why so many marriages end up in divorce so soon. marry a friend. when you argue, it doesn't hurt so much. but keep in mind that sex eventually is just something you do to take the pressure off.

i marred a friend, and we've been married for almost 15 years. everyone we know who married because they were in "love" their marriages never lasted long.

I thought you might agree, PM. Since about 50% of marriages end in divorce, I guess your analogy of why makes about as much sense as anybodys.

Of course, I have to wonder if you wouldn't admit to loving your 'friend' after being together for 15 years?

:eek:

you are so dirty

and THAT is why I like you!

:thumbs:

WUT????? I didn't say nuffin....just sittin on my porch in my rockin chair, chewing on my hay, mindin my own damn bidness ;)

I thought you might agree, PM. Since about 50% of marriages end in divorce, I guess your analogy of why makes about as much sense as anybodys.

Of course, I have to wonder if you wouldn't admit to loving your 'friend' after being together for 15 years?

Guess I need to put my two cents in here on this convo too......

I married my best friend almost 32 years ago (us rednecks marry REALLY young) and yes, we are still married today.

Monogamy is not all it's cracked up to be BUT if you want your marriage to last forever, and the only ones that don't are the divorce lawyers, you have to be able to control yourself and your urges. With that said, it's NOT always that easy to do. Things happen, people change, desires change, and sometimes, you find yourself looking elsewhere for things that are missing in your life. SOMETIMES, not always, that is sex. Other times, it's just a matter of someone actually recognizing that you are a person, with feelings and emotions. Sometimes, all you need is a little true companionship....someone to talk to, someone to laugh with or someone to hold you while you cry on their shoulder. IF that someone you turn to is of the opposite sex it might lead to places you are not ready to go but you do it anyway.

Which, brings me to a question I would like to pose to the audience......IF you were to find yourself in the above predicament and you turn to someone other than your spouse/partner/S.O for some comfort, but, you KNOW you love your spouse, would you tell them afterwards? Would you confess to them what you had done and why you did it? And if you did, would you expect your partner to forgive and forget? What if the tables were turned....could you forgive and forget?

Guess I need to put my two cents in here on this convo too......

I married my best friend almost 32 years ago (us rednecks marry REALLY young) and yes, we are still married today.


Which, brings me to a question I would like to pose to the audience......IF you were to find yourself in the above predicament and you turn to someone other than your spouse/partner/S.O for some comfort, but, you KNOW you love your spouse, would you tell them afterwards? Would you confess to them what you had done and why you did it? And if you did, would you expect your partner to forgive and forget? What if the tables were turned....could you forgive and forget?
If you're thinking about it now, I'd suspect he already has. Now its a matter of catching him in the act and using it against him in divorce court. That'll free you up to do whatever you damn well please and you dont have to tell him squat.

If you're thinking about it now, I'd suspect he already has. Now its a matter of catching him in the act and using it against him in divorce court. That'll free you up to do whatever you damn well please and you dont have to tell him squat.


What makes you think I'm talking about me??

Guess I need to put my two cents in here on this convo too......

I married my best friend almost 32 years ago (us rednecks marry REALLY young) and yes, we are still married today.

Monogamy is not all it's cracked up to be BUT if you want your marriage to last forever, and the only ones that don't are the divorce lawyers, you have to be able to control yourself and your urges. With that said, it's NOT always that easy to do. Things happen, people change, desires change, and sometimes, you find yourself looking elsewhere for things that are missing in your life. SOMETIMES, not always, that is sex. Other times, it's just a matter of someone actually recognizing that you are a person, with feelings and emotions. Sometimes, all you need is a little true companionship....someone to talk to, someone to laugh with or someone to hold you while you cry on their shoulder. IF that someone you turn to is of the opposite sex it might lead to places you are not ready to go but you do it anyway.

Which, brings me to a question I would like to pose to the audience......IF you were to find yourself in the above predicament and you turn to someone other than your spouse/partner/S.O for some comfort, but, you KNOW you love your spouse, would you tell them afterwards? Would you confess to them what you had done and why you did it? And if you did, would you expect your partner to forgive and forget? What if the tables were turned....could you forgive and forget?

In my experiences, I'd have to say NEVER TELL, and if you're caught in the act, DENY, DENY, DENY!!!

It's different for each person, but I think it's a rare individual who can actually 'forgive & forget'. I think if you really LOVE your partner, you'd be better off handling your own guilt and not unburdening yourself on them.

But that's just my opinion.

;)
SMW

What makes you think I'm talking about me??
It wasnt meant at anyone. Change the you're and you/him to someone and them/them respectively, and it becomes generic to anyone. Its only an opinion on my part

Guess I need to put my two cents in here on this convo too......

I married my best friend almost 32 years ago (us rednecks marry REALLY young) and yes, we are still married today.

Monogamy is not all it's cracked up to be BUT if you want your marriage to last forever, and the only ones that don't are the divorce lawyers, you have to be able to control yourself and your urges. With that said, it's NOT always that easy to do. Things happen, people change, desires change, and sometimes, you find yourself looking elsewhere for things that are missing in your life. SOMETIMES, not always, that is sex. Other times, it's just a matter of someone actually recognizing that you are a person, with feelings and emotions. Sometimes, all you need is a little true companionship....someone to talk to, someone to laugh with or someone to hold you while you cry on their shoulder. IF that someone you turn to is of the opposite sex it might lead to places you are not ready to go but you do it anyway.

Which, brings me to a question I would like to pose to the audience......IF you were to find yourself in the above predicament and you turn to someone other than your spouse/partner/S.O for some comfort, but, you KNOW you love your spouse, would you tell them afterwards? Would you confess to them what you had done and why you did it? And if you did, would you expect your partner to forgive and forget? What if the tables were turned....could you forgive and forget?


Yes Ty if I searched for comfort in someone else whether it be sexually or just emotionally I would tell D right away...probably before it ever happen. In fact if I ever thought I needed comfort from someone else I would tell D that I thought about it.

If D ever cheated on me... I would forgive but never forget so it would probably be impossible to work things out. But as everything else, you never truly know until put into that position.

It wasnt meant at anyone. Change the you're and you/him to someone and them/them respectively, and it becomes generic to anyone. Its only an opinion on my part


I just like giving you a hard time Ride ;)

In my experiences, I'd have to say NEVER TELL, and if you're caught in the act, DENY, DENY, DENY!!!

It's different for each person, but I think it's a rare individual who can actually 'forgive & forget'. I think if you really LOVE your partner, you'd be better off handling your own guilt and not unburdening yourself on them.

But that's just my opinion.

;)
SMW

I have to say I agree with you on this one too Smarty. I do think a person can forgive but I seriously doubt they ever forget. That's just something too hard to erase from memory!!

If D ever cheated on me... I would forgive but never forget so it would probably be impossible to work things out. But as everything else, you never truly know until put into that position.

I was put in that situation, I couldn't forgive or forget. It's impossible to get back what you had with someone once the circle of love and trust is broken. imo.

I have to say I agree with you on this one too Smarty. I do think a person can forgive but I seriously doubt they ever forget. That's just something too hard to erase from memory!!

Yep, and clearing your conscience at the expense of the other person's feelings is oftentimes worse than the indiscretion. I think it's just something you need to live with... however unpleasant that may be.

I was put in that situation, I couldn't forgive or forget. It's impossible to get back what you had with someone once the circle of love and trust is broken. imo.


Yeah things would never be the same. And it would make for a very bad relationship with all that resentment and anger.

I was put in that situation, I couldn't forgive or forget. It's impossible to get back what you had with someone once the circle of love and trust is broken. imo.

Exactly, Imp. But I think it goes even farther than that. Once you've been 'cheated on' you'll NEVER feel that same type of security you thought you had before the DEED was done... with ANYONE. That's the saddest part. There's a certain amount of innocence people enjoy when they trust their partner. Once that innocence is shattered, you can never get it back.

That's a high price to pay for a few hours (minutes?) of pleasure, ain't it?

SMW

Yeah things would never be the same. And it would make for a very bad relationship with all that resentment and anger.


Yeah. My husband stepped out, wanted to open his side of our marriage shorty after getting married. He wanted his cake and eat it too. I objected and told him it would hurt me.
Once the circles broken, it can't be fixed.
So I started screwing around too, THAT made it much worse *for me physically, he had a temper*. At least he was mature enough after the fact to see what an ass he was and how he fucked things up.

I still care for him as a friend, but I'll never love him again, or trust him for that matter.

Exactly, Imp. But I think it goes even farther than that. Once you've been 'cheated on' you'll NEVER feel that same type of security you thought you had before the DEED was done... with ANYONE. That's the saddest part. There's a certain amount of innocence people enjoy when they trust their partner. Once that innocence is shattered, you can never get it back.

That's a high price to pay for a few hours (minutes?) of pleasure, ain't it?

SMWSpot on, SMW.

I refuse to trust anyone anymore when it comes to the matters of my heart and love.

I asked him about a week ago on the phone if it was worth it. He got silent then admitted it wasn't and how he was sorry but it's too late. Like calling the fire dept. after the house burnt down.

Speaking of cheating....

anyone seen the movie premoniton with sandra bullock?

Speaking of cheating....

anyone seen the movie premoniton with sandra bullock?

No, haven't seen it. Worth viewing?

Yeah. My husband stepped out, wanted to open his side of our marriage shorty after getting married. He wanted his cake and eat it too. I objected and told him it would hurt me.
Once the circles broken, it can't be fixed.
So I started screwing around too, THAT made it much worse *for me physically, he had a temper*. At least he was mature enough after the fact to see what an ass he was and how he fucked things up.

I still care for him as a friend, but I'll never love him again, or trust him for that matter.

Yep, I can relate. My first husband and I were married for 18 years (from the time I was 16). I thought it was a forever thing. Until he came home one night and said he wanted a divorce because he 'fell in love' with another woman. Come to find out, she was a barmaid who gave good bj's. Didn't have anything to do with LOVE. Stupid fool... he had his chance to teach me everything he wanted me to know, but that was just something he didn't think he wanted his 'wife' to do. He came to me later and said he was sorry, but guessed it was too late. He was right, it was.

He died last year. I didn't even go to his funeral.

No, haven't seen it. Worth viewing?


It's very confusing but it brings up a good question...if you knew your husband was going to die...and you knew he was going to cheat on you...would you keep him from dying?

It's very confusing but it brings up a good question...if you knew your husband was going to die...and you knew he was going to cheat on you...would you keep him from dying?

That is a good question.

Not exactly the same thing, but see my response to Imp.

"I didn't even go to his funeral."

Payback's a bitch, ain't it?

So, what you're saying is that my experiences are worth jack diddly, but your VAST experience with what men TELL YOU about their relationships is more accurate?

Better sit back and read, Nappy. You have a lot to learn, darlin.

;)
SMW
Sweetheart, all the experience in the world won't help you understand shit about it without a good grounding in statistics and critical thinking. It's too bad those seem to be the points at which you're hopelessly incompetent. Now you go on being hopelessly single while I'm exploring the world intelligently and learning from my mistakes.

Yep because the chances of guy gives us 2 in one night...again...LMAO
I'm glad I don't have that problem...

Sweetheart, all the experience in the world won't help you understand shit about it without a good grounding in statistics and critical thinking. It's too bad those seem to be the points at which you're hopelessly incompetent. Now you go on being hopelessly single while I'm exploring the world intelligently and learning from my mistakes.

:lolhit:

Darlin, statistics and critical thinking don't have JACK to do with relationships between men and women. The very fact that you would think that shows how immature you are about the L word.

And don't worry about me ever being hopelessly single. I had alot of catching up to after my first marriage and I'm a fast learner. Trust me, I've had more experience in that dept that you'll probably EVER have.

Thx for the giggle though.

"statistics and critical thinking"

:lolhit: :lolhit: :lolhit: :lolhit:

This is kind of interesting.
I have had both guys that were not that exciting and well sex was less because it didn't do it for me but he was a really great guy and we worked for a very long time but being full filled in bed is also very important. Then I have met a guy that was freaking awesome in bed and could go and go, but there was nothing after that.
Now I am with someone who I feel has that blend. We were friends for two years before we got together. His sex drive matches mine to a tee. Finding that blend and learning and sharing it is really amazing and something I hope is never taken for granted ever.
You have to treasure and respect and love to be able to do that I feel.
Granted I haven't know that many men, but I a very content with the one I have and know he would do anything for me and I would do the same for him..

I have also learned that you need to be able to give and take and support each other. If one is sad they you lend a hand and if you are sad they are there for you.
I know sappy and maybe a bit naive but I feel I have finally found that one person that can be my future and is almost to good to be true but he isn't. He is just himself and I can be myself with him.

MY two cents.

:lolhit:

Darlin, statistics and critical thinking don't have JACK to do with relationships between men and women. The very fact that you would think that shows how immature you are about the L word.

And don't worry about me ever being hopelessly single. I had alot of catching up to after my first marriage and I'm a fast learner. Trust me, I've had more experience in that dept that you'll probably EVER have.

Thx for the giggle though.

"statistics and critical thinking"

:lolhit: :lolhit: :lolhit: :lolhit:

NO KIDDING.....how old, or should I say, how young is this guy? I'm thinking he needs to step away from the computer and go outside in the real world and have some real life experiences before he starts handing out stupid advice like he has been.

He could probably count on one hand the number of relationships he's had. My question to him on that would be.....did ya at least LEARN something from those?

This is kind of interesting.
I have had both guys that were not that exciting and well sex was less because it didn't do it for me but he was a really great guy and we worked for a very long time but being full filled in bed is also very important. Then I have met a guy that was freaking awesome in bed and could go and go, but there was nothing after that.
Now I am with someone who I feel has that blend. We were friends for two years before we got together. His sex drive matches mine to a tee. Finding that blend and learning and sharing it is really amazing and something I hope is never taken for granted ever.
You have to treasure and respect and love to be able to do that I feel.
Granted I haven't know that many men, but I a very content with the one I have and know he would do anything for me and I would do the same for him..

I have also learned that you need to be able to give and take and support each other. If one is sad they you lend a hand and if you are sad they are there for you.
I know sappy and maybe a bit naive but I feel I have finally found that one person that can be my future and is almost to good to be true but he isn't. He is just himself and I can be myself with him.

MY two cents.

Shorty, you deserve what you've found and I sincerely hope it lasts forever. That's not impossible, you know? Many, many people find wonderful mates and go on to live happy lives together. We just never get to hear much about those since the others are so much more entertaining.

Hope all's well with you, dear!

:)
SMW

Darlin, statistics and critical thinking don't have JACK to do with relationships between men and women. The very fact that you would think that shows how immature you are about the L word.
Now I'm the one laughing. You know, all those relationship problems you had in your life could have been easily avoided with a little preventative thinking and taking the time to understand who and what you were dealing with. People are so damn quick to jump into love, and rarely take the time to really think about the consequences of putting yourself out there so quickly. You say critical thinking has nothing to do with it? So what is it then? Finding that perfect other person? How are you going to know? The way he sticks his dick in you? That seems to be how you've been pickin' 'em!

And you can't make a decent generalization without application of statistical theory! You can go around throwing darts to find your perfect mate! The fact that you would dismiss both speaks volumes about your current station in life. This stuff isn't easy! It's not something you can pick up after a failed marriage and a thousand boyfriends! It's ambling blind hoping to stumble on Fort Knox!

Shorty, you deserve what you've found and I sincerely hope it lasts forever. That's not impossible, you know? Many, many people find wonderful mates and go on to live happy lives together. We just never get to hear much about those since the others are so much more entertaining.

Hope all's well with you, dear!

:)
SMW

Thanks I have a great feeling if we keep going with how we are we will make it to be one of those couples celebrating their 50 anniversary still holding hands and kissing. Life is not always easy but if you have the determination to keep working at it and you can deal with each other baggage you have brought into the relationship it can work.

Having a blood transfusion done again and taking some new meds called Gleevec and I have a man that is there and wants to be there even if I have to loose my hair to chemo. ( I know shallow but I still think about it).

Now I'm the one laughing. You know, all those relationship problems you had in your life could have been easily avoided with a little preventative thinking and taking the time to understand who and what you were dealing with. People are so damn quick to jump into love, and rarely take the time to really think about the consequences of putting yourself out there so quickly. You say critical thinking has nothing to do with it? So what is it then? Finding that perfect other person? How are you going to know? The way he sticks his dick in you? That seems to be how you've been pickin' 'em!

And you can't make a decent generalization without application of statistical theory! You can go around throwing darts to find your perfect mate! The fact that you would dismiss both speaks volumes about your current station in life. This stuff isn't easy! It's not something you can pick up after a failed marriage and a thousand boyfriends! It's ambling blind hoping to stumble on Fort Knox!

Nappy, you're so silly. Tell me... just how many serious relationships have YOU had in your life to think you're such an expert on affairs of the heart?

And BTW, you know nothing about my 'current station in life' so don't assume you do.

Now I'm the one laughing. You know, all those relationship problems you had in your life could have been easily avoided with a little preventative thinking and taking the time to understand who and what you were dealing with. People are so damn quick to jump into love, and rarely take the time to really think about the consequences of putting yourself out there so quickly. You say critical thinking has nothing to do with it? So what is it then? Finding that perfect other person? How are you going to know? The way he sticks his dick in you? That seems to be how you've been pickin' 'em!

And you can't make a decent generalization without application of statistical theory! You can go around throwing darts to find your perfect mate! The fact that you would dismiss both speaks volumes about your current station in life. This stuff isn't easy! It's not something you can pick up after a failed marriage and a thousand boyfriends! It's ambling blind hoping to stumble on Fort Knox!

You are an idiot!!

NO...a person does not go around throwing darts to find the perfect mate. That's not something you can go searching for. I believe, and this is only MY belief, is that love finds you. I said in an earlier post that I married my best friend almost 32 years ago. Well, we were mortal enemies when we first met...through mutual friends. I was a mere teenager and he was "almost" an adult. The hatred was also mutual. Over time, we came to be friends because we had so much in common. From THERE, it grew even further.

So, before you go analyzing other people and how their relationships have or have not worked out, go get some real life experiences under your belt.

Zilch, but I don't consider myself an expert, either. Just skilled enough with human nature to be able to describe things with a greater degree of accuracy than most, and sharp enough to detect the bullshit inherent in many of our commonly held views. You want an expert, you'd do better with Dr. Phil.

NO...a person does not go around throwing darts to find the perfect mate.
You didn't. Most of the stable, well-adjusted people I meet don't. But you'd be surprised at how many people do.

Zilch, but I don't consider myself an expert, either. Just skilled enough with human nature to be able to describe things with a greater degree of accuracy than most, and sharp enough to detect the bullshit inherent in many of our commonly held views. You want an expert, you'd do better with Dr. Phil.

That's what I figured. It's always easy to sit back and judge people. But until you get that life experience under your belt, you're just flapping your lips.

There's a reason for most 'commonly held views' -- they materialize when lots of people experience the same things. You'll experience those same things too, Nappy, and that might just change your statistically calculated love theory.

In the meantime, like I said, you should sit back and read.

;)
SMW

That's not something you can go searching for.
If you want a good relationship, and none of the people in your life are viable, you have to go searching. If you're sharp, and have a good grasp of people, you can find one, anywhere. But you don't need to go out searching for a little mental work to help out your current relationship tremendously. Life is a fantastic opportunity to make your own happiness. But most people are content to let happiness come to them. I don't buy that kind of fatalism.

That's what I figured. It's always easy to sit back and judge people. But until you get that life experience under your belt, you're just flapping your lips.

There's a reason for most 'commonly held views' -- they materialize when lots of people experience the same things. You'll experience those same things too, Nappy, and that might just change your statistically calculated love theory.

In the meantime, like I said, you should sit back and read.

;)
SMW


I like how he dug into your "single" situation. Hell I can't wait until he finds out mine.

:rolleyes:

But until you get that life experience under your belt, you're just flapping your lips.
Can it. I've seen you do little else since you got here.

If you want a good relationship, and none of the people in your life are viable, you have to go searching. If you're sharp, and have a good grasp of people, you can find one, anywhere. But you don't need to go out searching for a little mental work to help out your current relationship tremendously. Life is a fantastic opportunity to make your own happiness. But most people are content to let happiness come to them. I don't buy that kind of fatalism.

Believe it or not, I've seen a couple of relationships lately who were put together by eharmony and they seem EXTREMELY happy and well suited for each other.

'course it doesn't take much to be extremely happy at first... it's the long haul that gets hairy.

I like how he dug into your "single" situation. Hell I can't wait until he finds out mine.

:rolleyes:
Don't get excited. I don't date online.

You didn't. Most of the stable, well-adjusted people I meet don't. But you'd be surprised at how many people do.


This is another perfect example of you NOT knowing jack. I am probably the MOST UNSTABLE person you will EVER FRIGGIN meet.

I've known many people that were WAY MORE stable and well-adjusted than I am...had their head on straight, knew what they wanted from life, sought it out, made a good life for themselves and BOOM, for whatever reason, and there were various ones, the relationship did not work out. Wasn't that either of them cheated either....it was because they eventually went in separate directions with their own "individual" lives. And sometimes, people do that.

My parents divorced when I was 16....not because they didn't love each other or because one of them had found someone else...it was because they realized and accepted the fact that their lives and their wants had changed over the years. They were actually better friends after the divorce. They each went on to find another "perfect mate". I learned a very valuable lesson from what happened to them......LIFE IS SHORT. Don't waste it on the little crap. If you are fortunate enough to have someone in your life that you love and they love you back, then tell them....as often as you can. Make it a point to call them just to say "I love you" or in this day and age of computers....send them an IM that simply says "I LOVE YOU" You'd be surprised at how good YOU feel by doing that, not to mention how THEY will feel when they read or hear it.

Don't get excited. I don't date online.


:lolhit:

I dont date virgins

'course it doesn't take much to be extremely happy at first... it's the long haul that gets hairy.
That's why so many spring for the serial monogamous lifestyle these days.

Can it. I've seen you do little else since you got here.


YOU can it....I've seen you do NOTHING else since coming in here.

:lolhit:

I dont date virgins

ROTFLMFAO

This is another perfect example of you NOT knowing jack. I am probably the MOST UNSTABLE person you will EVER FRIGGIN meet.

I've known many people that were WAY MORE stable and well-adjusted than I am...had their head on straight, knew what they wanted from life, sought it out, made a good life for themselves and BOOM, for whatever reason, and there were various ones, the relationship did not work out. Wasn't that either of them cheated either....it was because they eventually went in separate directions with their own "individual" lives. And sometimes, people do that.

My parents divorced when I was 16....not because they didn't love each other or because one of them had found someone else...it was because they realized and accepted the fact that their lives and their wants had changed over the years. They were actually better friends after the divorce. They each went on to find another "perfect mate". I learned a very valuable lesson from what happened to them......LIFE IS SHORT. Don't waste it on the little crap. If you are fortunate enough to have someone in your life that you love and they love you back, then tell them....as often as you can. Make it a point to call them just to say "I love you" or in this day and age of computers....send them an IM that simply says "I LOVE YOU" You'd be surprised at how good YOU feel by doing that, not to mention how THEY will feel when they read or hear it.


Well I love you Ty!!!!


Now will you date me online since Mr. Nappy won't?

This is another perfect example of you NOT knowing jack. I am probably the MOST UNSTABLE person you will EVER FRIGGIN meet.
Relax sweetie. I know, I know, you're hopelessly addicted to feeling like you're an emotional basket case, but all you women are like that. Underneath all those folk you think were better than you, are people just as scared and just as lonely as everyone else. Your third paragraph said it all.

Can it. I've seen you do little else since you got here.

At least my lips flap with EXPERIENCE, Nappy. Yours lean a little more toward bullshit. Too bad you really can't learn what you need to know about life from a book. You'd be a genius instead of a silly boy.

:rolleyes:

YOU can it....I've seen you do NOTHING else since coming in here.
You should venture out of your little rabbit hole once in awhile.

At least my lips flap with EXPERIENCE, Nappy.
So much for all that, when you can't even make yourself heard convincingly over in politics or religion.

Relax sweetie. I know, I know, you're hopelessly addicted to feeling like you're an emotional basket case, but all you women are like that. Underneath all those folk you think were better than you, are people just as scared and just as lonely as everyone else. Your third paragraph said it all.


DO NOT EVERRRRRRRR CALL ME SWEETIE AGAIN.....JERK!!

You don't know jacksh*t about me and you never will, so don't go analyzing me. YOU have NO IDEA what I'm all about or what all I've been through in all my years of life.

My 3rd paragraph in no way indicated anyone was scared OR lonely....can you NOT read?? I said they grew apart....it was because of the lives they each led....you know....work, social lives, etc. Being scared and/or lonely had absolutely NOTHING to do with this.

Go back to kindergarten and git yerself sum lernin before you come back in here trying to TEACH us about life!!!!!!!

Heading out of this joint for the weekend.

I'm leaving the ROMANTIC ADVICE thread in Nappy's capable hands. By the time I get back on Monday, I'm sure he'll have all the love problems solved!

:)
SMW