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NoReply
05-28-2007, 09:59 PM
If you take the statements of the Bible at face value, it’s impossible to avoid a conclusion…

Jesus was a woman.

Just recently, it was finally confirmed that a baby bonnet hammerhead shark was born parthenogenically, without the mother’s mating at all. Analysis of the baby’s corpse (it died after a few days, killed by other fish in its aquarium) set all doubts to rest. This means that among vertebrates, mammals are the only class that cannot reproduce parthenogenically.

Oh, but Jesus was a mammal, right?

Well, let me modify my statement above: among vertebrates, mammals are the only class not known to be able to reproduce parthenogenically. It was thought to be impossible for fish as well, until the bonnet hammerhead proved everyone wrong.

So, where does that leave us?

If we accept the (totally unproven) assertion that Jesus Christ existed; if we further accept the assertion that “he” was born of a virgin (rather than of an Almah, the original Hebrew word which can mean young woman, married or unmarried; concubine, or maid, in whatever context it’s used, but not necessarily virgin) – well, as I said, if we accept that assertion, we are faced with the fact that this person Jesus would have had to have chromosomes and genes.

If this person Jesus had no chromosomes and genes, it would seem impossible for “him” to have suffered biological death on the cross; and as a further extension of Christian dogma, “he” could not have been “resurrected” if “he” had not in reality died. And Christianity’s base of faith is the Resurrection. Right?

Also, according to Christian dogma, Jesus didn’t just appear magically, complete and whole, in Mary’s uterus. “He” was Mary’s son as well as “God’s”. He had a normal gestation period during which Joseph thought of breaking the engagement after knowing she was pregnant. Right?

Now, humans – if they wish to exist – must have a minimum complete set of chromosomes. In normal humans there are 46 (some extremely rare mutants may have one extra). There are 44 autosomes (“body chromosomes”, which are responsible for all bodily characters like eye and hair colour, height and so on) and two sex chromosomes, which determine whether the individual is male or female. The sex chromosome is either X or Y. X chromosomes are female; Y, male. A woman has the genetic code 44XX (44 autosomes and two X sex chromosomes). Men are 44XY (actually the Y chromosome is virtually functionless; it is the X chromosome that has all the sex characteristics. The function of the Y chromosome is basically to stop two X chromosomes from coming together, which would allow a female to develop. The female sex is the default sex for all animals, which is bad news for patriarchy.)

As sperm and ova develop inside our bodies, these are created by the splitting of our bodily cells into two – each of which contains half the genes and chromosomes of the original. One 44XX cell therefore creates two 22X cells; and one 44XY creates one 22X and one 22Y. (I’m sorry for dumbing it down for those in the know.)

When a woman’s egg cell is fertilised by a man’s sperm, the woman is contributing 22 autosomes and an X chromosome to the mix. The man contributes 22 autosomes and either an X chromosome or a Y chromosome. Depending on this, the fertilised egg may be 44XX or 44XY and will develop accordingly into a male or female child.

So, in the case of all parthenogenically produced organisms, including the bonnet shark, the female is responsible for producing the entire genetic code. All of it. The offspring is therefore inevitably female. It cannot be otherwise. I don’t suppose “god” introduced sperm and a Y chromosome into Mary’s uterus, do you?

And, so, therefore, Jesus was a woman. Like it or not.

The Bible as good as says so.

CarbonBasedLife
05-28-2007, 10:07 PM
I'm pretty sure an all-powerful being isn't limited by the rules of nature the rest of us follow.

NoReply
05-28-2007, 10:15 PM
I'm pretty sure an all-powerful being isn't limited by the rules of nature the rest of us follow.

A fair (all-powerful being) GOD would follow his own rules too...

CarbonBasedLife
05-28-2007, 10:16 PM
A fair (all-powerful being) GOD would follow his own rules too...

What was God supposed to do? Come down to earth and impregnate Mary himself?

Evakian
05-28-2007, 10:33 PM
What was God supposed to do? Come down to earth and impregnate Mary himself?
"Hey Mary, wanna go back to my place for a little ambrosia?"

mikezila
05-28-2007, 10:45 PM
What was God supposed to do? Come down to earth and impregnate Mary himself?
well, that's the story...:lolhit:

CarbonBasedLife
05-28-2007, 10:45 PM
"Hey Mary, wanna go back to my place for a little ambrosia?"

"Eve couldn't resist my serpent, do you think you can?"

Phyrex
05-28-2007, 11:16 PM
You know what I just learned last night that I did not know... The immaculate conception is in reference to Mary's birth, not Jesus'. Jesus' birth is considered a virgin birth, not immaculate conception.

500lbguerilla
05-28-2007, 11:46 PM
Actually in hebrew mary was a "young girl", not virgin. So really joseph was just a pederast.

Inviolable
05-29-2007, 03:26 AM
Actually in hebrew mary was a "young girl", not virgin. So really joseph was just a pederast.


How do you know how old Joseph was?

Evakian
05-29-2007, 05:31 AM
Failure to recognise this comes from the standard Atheist philosophy.
"I'm gone for a little while and everyone gets delusions of grander."

I'm not going to recognize it because it isn't true at all. You think the Greeks or Egyptians went through life experimenting with science and the philosophy of it through monotheism?

And your Han Solo quote is good, but it's grandeur*

Evakian
05-29-2007, 05:32 AM
Also, to address the initial post of the thread. Jesus was wrong, and therefore must've been a woman.

Inviolable
05-29-2007, 06:11 AM
I'm not going to recognize it because it isn't true at all. You think the Greeks or Egyptians went through life experimenting with science and the philosophy of it through monotheism?

And your Han Solo quote is good, but it's grandeur*

Yes, but they got overthrown and our current system was brought about by something you refuse.

Thanks for the spell correction.

~Sal~
05-29-2007, 07:47 AM
You know what I just learned last night that I did not know... The immaculate conception is in reference to Mary's birth, not Jesus'. Jesus' birth is considered a virgin birth, not immaculate conception.

Actually few Christians know that. She was born without sin.

Nighthawk
06-14-2007, 10:42 AM
You must never have heard the saying "Christianity begins with a rape and ends with an execution." You are right that virgin births are technically possible but usually for lower life forms like aphids that are sometimes born pregnant and each daughter born is an exact clone of the mother! How cute!

No, the Bible records Jesus' true father and lists him TWICE in the geneologies, and his true father was simply Joseph husband of Mary and he was born exactly the same way as all the rest of us, except Michael Jackson's children....

All this virgin birth BS is nothing but pagan superstition infiltrating a Jewish sect. It's a total crock and not worth even discussing except to poke fun at.
Had Jesus not had Joseph as his father, his claim to Davidic descent would be proven absurd. Mary was a Levite, David was of Judah. And no Jew ever traced descent through the mother in the patriarchal "good ol' days". Yes, in Modern Israel you can claim citizenship if you have "Jewish blood" (whatever the hell that is) on your mother's side, which means I myself can claim citizenship in the Marxo-fascist United Nations created Genocidal State known as modern Israel. Hallelujah. I think I'll ship out today!

Frogger
06-14-2007, 12:09 PM
I think I'll ship out today!

Promises, promises.

~Sal~
06-14-2007, 03:49 PM
And no Jew ever traced descent through the mother in the patriarchal "good ol' days". Yes, in Modern Israel you can claim citizenship if you have "Jewish blood" (whatever the hell that is) on your mother's side, which means I myself can claim citizenship in the Marxo-fascist United Nations created Genocidal State known as modern Israel. Hallelujah. I think I'll ship out today!

From what I have read, Jews trace their bloodline through the mother. Logically that makes me sense since paternity could not be proven back then.

DarkFantasy96
06-14-2007, 04:42 PM
Actually few Christians know that. She was born without sin.
I was not aware of that! I just read up on it on wikipedia.

And furthermore, did you know that Muslims also believe in the virgin birth of Jesus?

DarkFantasy96
06-14-2007, 04:43 PM
From what I have read, Jews trace their bloodline through the mother. Logically that makes me sense since paternity could not be proven back then.
Quite true, at least now. That's why my half sister is Jewish (her mother is Jewish, our father is Catholic.)

500lbguerilla
06-14-2007, 05:42 PM
How do you know how old Joseph was? good point.