So this woman goes to a plastic surgeon to get a face lift. Comes back a couple years later and says, "Doc, face lift was great, but its starting to sag again." Doc decides to try out a new medical treatment. Tells her, "We can put this dial on the back of your head, you twist it, it tightens the face, the sag disappears. It hides under your hair, no one will ever see it." The woman loves the idea so has the procedure done.

She comes back two years later. "Doc, it worked for a while but now I have these bags under my eyes."

Doc says, "Lady, those aren't bags, those are your breasts."

Woman says, "Well I guess that explains the go-t then."

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Club owner walks up to the bartender and asks, "Are you sleeping with the waitress?"

Bartender says, "Of course not."

Owners says, "Good, then you fire her."

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Just thought I would post some jokes I like to tell.

Woman says, "Well I guess that explains the go-t then."

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A baby seal walks into a club.

I spit my water all over the monitor!

Yeah, that was a good one...

a baby seal walks into a bar and takes a seat.

bartender asks what he wants and the baby seal says...

"anything but a Canadian Club".