What is the stupidest thing that ever happened to you ? I have some pretty stupid stories myself but I prefer to wait for the other to look ridiculous first before I tell you everything…

Well I use to drive tractor trailer so I have many. One always comes to mind it was when my wife and I were in Florida at a truck stop and this guy came over and started telling me how to drive. Then he started saying how there was going to be a big rally to get rid of women. Well he finally walked away so we went in to get some dinner, well he was inside asking another driver for a cig. The driver gave him a smoke and he said "thanks, that'll work and if it doesn't I'll be back to blow you up." He walked outside, the next thing we know there are about 10 cop cars that come screaming into the parking lot. To make a long story short the guy was an excape nut case, considered very dangerous. He also had blown some things up in the past.

"If you were gonna rob a bank... how would ya do it?"

That wuz a question a co-worker once asked me at the office... I wuz pretty sure he wuzn't jokin', 'cuz he wuz kinda the paranoid type... (Folks would try ta duck him in the hallways whenever they could.)

A couple a weeks after he asked that strange question, he quit his job and I didn't give him much thought... until a couple of MONTHS later I read about him in a local news story... he and a couple of accomplices robbed a downtown bank... and murdered a security guard workin' there...

An odd thing, he walked away from the ordeal after bein' given immunity fer testifyin' against his... two associates... Anuther odd thing... it wuz HIS fingerprints on the trigger of the murder weapon... and the LOOT wuz never recovered...

So, anywayz, since ya asked... I thought I'd share...

Well, I can tell ya what NOT ta say when gettin decorated in the military: "Ribbons are fer little girls... Sir..."

Oh, ya get ta keep the ribbon...

...but ya can lose some stripes...

But, the DUMBEST thing I ever heard...

Yer prob'ly gonna think I'm makin' this up... but, nope, I'm not... And that's what makes this so... ESPECIALLY DUMB...
Way back during the days of the Viet Nam War, I wuz stationed at an air base which had come under repeated guerilla attacks for a number of months. (Sappers, mortar barrages, and such.) Anywayz, one night after I had just set up an M-60 machinegun in a base perimeter bunker, I noticed somethin', I dunno what, movin' around in the darkness a fair distance away... I radioed SSgt. P**
(all names blocked as a professional courtesy) who soon arrived by jeep to take a look... but P** wuz as baffled as me, so he radioed in to CSC fer permission to fire some M-79 flares over the area... The ensuing radio conversation went something like this:

SSgt P**: There's something strange moving around outside ...I want permission to fire some flares out there to check it out...

[PAUSE]

TSgt H**: Check what out? What is it?

[PAUSE]

SSgt P**: Huh? Well, hell it's NIGHT, I DUNNO what it is... That's why I need your permission to fire some FLARES...

[PAUSE, then muttering]

TSgt H**: Hey, pal, I know you wanna fire flares... But hey, we've got a SHORTAGE of flares and I need to know what it IS that you wanna fire the flares at...

[PAUSE]

SSgt P**: Dammit man, if I knew what it WUZ, I wouldn't need to fire the f--in' FLARES, now would I?

This conversation continued fer a while until SSgt P** just fired the flares without permission... Never found out what wuz movin' around out there though. A local native assured us it wuz ghosts...

So, if some of you may be wunderin' 'bout the quality of our military intelligence today, I dunno, but that's kinda what it wuz like back then...

(Ya know if the Cong out in the bush overheard any of that conversation, maybe THAT'S when they started thinkin' that their chances of winnin' the war might not be so bad...)

Anywayz, that wuz my last post overseas... But it wuz a way ta make a buck, I guess... (Buck Sergeant, that is... that wuz the rank they gave me when I got my Honorable discharge after four years of... well, it wuzn't exactly heaven back then... :) The memories will alwayz be there... It wuz a conflict I never wanted ta be in... But the war's over... let Saigons be Saigons, eh?

Tam Biet (Vietnamese fer... toodles)

Well, the stupidest story that happened to me sure is the day I gave the keys of my car to a total stranger, told him not to go away with it and saw him steal the car.

Aw, that's not really so stupi--- Huh??? Ya did WHAT?!? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!!!

I HATE it when that happens... ;)

well, no offense or anything to this....but.....yeah that was pretty stupid!

Dumber than a box of rocks that was, Astra.

I was warming up for softball practice with my mom's friend (who was the softball coach). We were throwing the ball back and forth, and I had a headache that day. Everything kind of seemed to be moving in slow motion. I threw the ball to the coach, and saw her throw it back. A few nanoseconds later, I remember thinking, "Wow, it's taking the ball a long time to get here..."

I moved my glove down just a bit to see where the ball was, and just at that instant, it came flying, clipped the edge of my glove, ricocheted up and hit me on the mouth. A few teeth got knocked loose, but I just pushed them back into place with my tongue. I also split my lip which wasn't pretty at all.

I hated softball. *LOL*

Sounds like it wuz a run of... bat luck, Aiko... but ya took it with good humor...

I understand that all Sandy Koufax ever did wuz pitch, pitch, pitch, pitch, pitch whenever HE played baseball... :)

Oh, and there was also that day a guy in the street told me an incredible story - he just arrived from madagascar with his family to work in medical research and his money still was not available at the bank and he had not gotten his first wage and and he absolutely needed 320 francs (about $ 50) because he had to pay the caution for a gas bottle to cook for his family. And of course he was a rich scientist and that situation was just too stupid since he would get his money two days later.

I checked and it happened that I had this VERY PRECISE amount of money in my wallet.
Well, of course I was not dumb enough to trust this total stranger enough to give him that money…
Er… In fact I was.

He gave me a paper with his address which happened to be absolutely impossible to read and I never saw him again…

ON THE OTHER HAND - whatever really happened to this man, he probably needed the money more that I did. And he almost earned it through hard work since his (much longer) story was amazingly well acted.