Granted, You get drunk and marry a 95 year old with saggy skin that hangs down to the knees (you begin to recall, in a drunken haze, that you signed a prenup). You wake up in the morning and your new spouse surpises you with the gift of paying off your car, provided you vow to have sex 5 timea a day until the loan would have been paid off, if they had not paid it.Wow, sex five times a day with a 95 year old... I ought to be able to kill the old fart within a week at that rate...so, sounds like a deal...:p



I wish that I had a magic power where I could plant subconscience suggestions into others minds. I could will my boss to pull down his pants, and moon everyone, in a corporate meeting

Granted but when he pulls his pants down it reveals that he has your face tattooed on his ass.... ( I think this one was pretty good) :D

I wish someone would come in and power wash my balcony and get everything planted for the long weekend.

Granted, but they plant marijuana, and you get arrested by the DEA and go to jail.


I wish for some more chocolate.

Granted, warm chocolate hersey bars magicly starts falling from your ceiling and stains all your furniture and carpet (luckily a couple pieces fall in your mouth....yum).

I wish that my ex-mother-in-law would realize what a evil creep her son is.