If Men Were to Rewrite "The Rules"

Rule # 1 Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.

Rule # 2 If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.

Rule # 3 It is in neither your best interest nor ours to make us take those stupid Cosmo quizzes together.

Rule # 4 You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done -- not both.

Rule # 5 Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials or time-outs.

Rule # 6 Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we.

Rule # 7 When we're turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the ramp, you saying "This is our exit" is not necessary.


anything else you guys here would like to add? Please do....Maybe us girls will learn a thing or two....:thumbs:

Rule # 8 You are to make me a sammich, whenever I so choose.
Rule # 9 Failure to bring sammich on time results in beating.
Rule # 10 Should a household object break from the colliding of it against your fragile body (read, baseball bat, chair, microwave, etc), you have to replace it

Rule # 6 Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we.


Pretty ironic considering he was trying to get to the East Indies when he discovered America.

Rule #11: If we ask, "How was your day?" that means, "Get me a beer."
Rule #12: These shoes are fine. Those shoes are fine. All of those shoes are equally fine!
Rule #13: Don't ask us if we noticed anything different about you; any answer we give (if any) will upset you.
Rule #14: If you want to cuddle, buy a cat.
Rule #15: Do NOT buy a cat.

Rule #16: Do not ask if that outfit makes you look fat, because we will either have to lie to you, or sleep on the couch for a week.

Rule #17: Quit yer goddamn bitchin'. If the toilet seat doesn't magically come down when you're looking at it, you could try doing it yourself.

Rule #16: Do not ask if that outfit makes you look fat, because we will either have to lie to you, or sleep on the couch for a week.

:D
I'm 5'11 and 160..it'll be pretty damn hard for me to find something to make me look fat....:lolhit:

But it won't stop you from asking, will it?

But it won't stop you from asking, will it?

actually, i've never asked if I look fat...I may have low self-esteem but I know in my heart I'm not at all fat...

Do I look fat? That's a dumb question:slap: ....

The only answer is a completely deadpan, "Yes. Absolutely."

The only answer is a completely deadpan, "Yes. Absolutely."
Agreed. Especially with the delivery.

lol, off topic but Napster I have to say, I crack up everytime I watch your sig, every single time. So damn funny.

What's my bussiness...

What's my bussiness...
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=business&page=2

business:

1) Commercial, industrial, or professional dealings
2) The occupation, work, or trade in which a person is engaged, a specific occupation or pursuit
3) One's rightful or proper concern or interest, something involving one personally

Its none of your business that I'm making a business that will help us get down to business about this whole business issue.

#17 If a good looking women wearing an outfit that leaves little to the imagination is in my vicinity and I notice her, it is not my fault. It is hers for wearing that outfit. It doesn't mean I don't find you attractive, or that I want a divorce. It doesn't mean anything other than I am not dead.