You know, Over the years I have heard a lot of extremely wild and somewhat humorous stories about how things are done in our Armed Forces. Being a 6 year vet myself, I could not help but marvel at some of the far fetched things many young people outside of our military tend to believe while having never served a single day to see for themselves. Here, read of these ridiculous rumors (http://www.snopes.com/military/murderer.asp) and tell me what you think of them. Personally I managed to get a pretty good laugh from most of them ;)

Ha ha ha ha ha!!

Yeah, I heard the 'kill a puppy in order to graduate' urban legend many times during my formative years in the Army.

Good stuff.

What about this one:
A Navy submarine leaves port with 52 men and returns with 26 couples.

What about this one:
A Navy submarine leaves port with 52 men and returns with 26 couples.

I guess it means, US Navy soldiers are good men because they never make a creep.

perhaps our Navy recruiters should start hitting up gay bars, they'd probably up recruitment

Ha, nice find there. I particularly liked the one about the stress cards (what a bunch of crock) and the saltpeter. When I was in basic that was a big rumor going around, what they say is true in the article lol. But apparently the Army doesnt put anything in the food. Its all mostly due to stress and the fact you are living in such close proximity to a whole bunch of guys.

Oh and the one about the items in the truck of the post flagpole is a bunch of malarkey also. American soldiers dont commit ritual sucide for goodness sake. I heard that one way before I joined, always known it to be false.

I don't know about killing puppies or family members, but plastic black silhouettes get no mercy at all.

What about this one:
A Navy submarine leaves port with 52 men and returns with 26 couples.
There's gay. And then, there's Navy Gay. :D

Anyone ever heard the rumors of an "island" where military troops with incurable sexually transmitted diseases are sent?

Anyone ever heard the rumors of an "island" where military troops with incurable sexually transmitted diseases are sent?
i've never heard that one, but also in the rumor mill-HIV was an Army bio-weapon that got loose:rolleyes:

Anyone ever heard the rumors of an "island" where military troops with incurable sexually transmitted diseases are sent?

I heard that one a lot when I was doing VD contact interviewing in Korea. Antibiotic resistant ghonnorea was just getting started, and was a real problem. A lot of people thought that they could never go home if they had it. That was total bullshit of course.

Indian English...

Oh and the one about the items in the truck of the post flagpole is a bunch of malarkey also. American soldiers dont commit ritual sucide for goodness sake. I heard that one way before I joined, always known it to be false.

ever hear the one in basic about the guy who tried to commit suicide by tying the buffer cord around his neck ond throwing it from the second story window but the cord was to long and the buffer just hit the ground?

What the hell is a "buffer"? :confused:

ever hear the one in basic about the guy who tried to commit suicide by tying the buffer cord around his neck ond throwing it from the second story window but the cord was to long and the buffer just hit the ground?

nope lol, but i have fond memories of the buffer. they made us buff everynight all night while on fireguard rofl.

What the hell is a "buffer"? :confused:

http://images.search.yahoo.com/search/images?p=floor+buffer&ei=UTF-8&fr=yfp-t-501&x=wrt

buffer, oh sweet sweet buffer

Ohh, like a floor buffer.

I thought it was some sort of top secret military speak for something.

Somewhere deep in the cavernous, Top Secret Army Intelligence vaults…..


PFC Smith: Sir, you’d better get over here and look at this.

Major Jones: (leaning over the computer console with a concerned look on his face) What is it, Smitty?

PFC Smith: An unidentified UnSub-civilian has stumbled onto the existence of Project 55.

Major Jones: The BUFFER?? My God. Where is she, how much does she know?

PFC Smith: Darkfantasy96. She’s a voluptuous under-aged white female, and an American one at that. (clicks furiously on the computer keyboard) Currently active on a web-forum known as ‘allforums.net’. Can’t tell how much of an intelligence breech there is though.

Major Jones: www.allforums.net…. A hot-bed of left-leaning political strap-hangers and anti-American, Taliban-sympathizers. Figures. Have we got any overt OPSEC violations yet? Should I order The Buffer Battalion to DefCon Charlie?

PFC Smith: No sir, not yet. It would appear that her interest in The Buffer was purely innocent. And then a sharp young Army soldier stepped in with a brilliant bit of deception. Convinced her that the project in question was just an innocuous floor buffer. Good job on his part, actually.

Major Jones: Who is he? Where’s he assigned?

PFC Smith: Code name Phyrex. He’s an Enlisted man in Korea, MOS 92Z. Mess-kit Repairman. Assigned to the 2nd ID, OPCON’ed to the Fighting 269th Food Service Support Task Force, Spoon Platoon.

Major Jones: Phyrex. Phyrex…. Why does that name sound familiar?

PFC Smith: He was featured on page 3 of last week’s Army Times. Fathered no less than seven illegitimate children down in the ‘ville, but escaped a half-dozen paternity suits on the grounds that his male member was a US Department of State-registered ‘arm of diplomacy’. He’ll have the US and South Korean lawyers tied up for at least two years on that one.

Major Jones: I like the cut of this man’s jib!! Can we recruit him into the Army Intelligence Corps?

PFC Smith: (clicks on the keyboard for a few seconds more) Well, his GT score is pretty high, and he’s obviously mighty quick on his feet. I’d say we’ve got a good chance of getting him to turn. The bait had better be good, though.

Major Jones: Smitty, I want you to cut a MIPR to the USAF, and one to the 82nd Airborne. I need you to capture this Darkfantasy girl, convince her to become an accomplice in this endeavor, fly her and a case of Jim Beam Black over to Korea, and para-drop her in via a Delta-Force C-130. Standard Seduction Protocol 36-B…. Round-eyed girl with a case of really good bourbon meets lonely GI many miles from home, yatta yatta yatta. She impresses him with both her feminine charms and her keen intellect, and cha-ching batta-bing, we’ve got a couple of new Intel Operatives. You get me?

PFC Smith: Sir, this is dicey stuff. What level of containment do you want to employ? What shall we call the operation?

Major Jones: Triple-Top Secret with a half-gainer, Smith. Eyes Only. And call it…

PFC Smith: Yes sir?

Major Jones: Call it Operation Freethinker II.

PFC Smith: Sir. Freethinker is our most valuable double-agent. 30 years of service, on both sides of the fence. Do we really want to identify this particular Op with such a distinguished and legendarily time-honored moniker??

Major Jones: Smitty. None of us are getting any younger. It was only a matter of time before we would have to train the old man’s eventual replacement. And I sense that The Force is powerful in this one. Make it so, PFC Smith. Make it so.

PFC Smith: Your wish is my command, Skipper.


And so the adventure begins…..

:eek:

I like the cut of this man’s jib!! Can we recruit him into the Army Intelligence Corps?

PFC Smith: (clicks on the keyboard for a few seconds more) Well, his GT score is pretty high, and he’s obviously mighty quick on his feet. I’d say we’ve got a good chance of getting him to turn. The bait had better be good, though.




Ahahaa! My GT score is 122 [CENSORED] so ahahah on you.

Great story lol

Edit: cencsored info! lol

Sshhhh-sshhh. OPSEC, remember?.
;)

Sshhhh-sshhh. OPSEC, remember?.
;)


Right right, OPSEC. But uh, as long as I dont divuldge, its all good :)

Look, I'm working on getting a teenage hottie sent over to you with a case of really good bourbon whiskey.

Don't blow this, ok?

shes 16, and has a boyfriend lol

but yeah ok, bring it on!

She's gotta have a mom, right?

http://www.facesinphotos.com/projects/images/15L.jpg

you can do better than that

Well, you're the smart guy in Korea with access to a computer.

I'm sure you don't need my advice when it comes to downloading provocative images of naked ladies.

My mom is way hotter than that, honestly. Oh and Sparky, HILARIOUS. :lolhit:

Oh and here's a picture of my mother last year... Not a very good one, she looks a little fat, but I think it was taken while she was pregnant. She had a miscarriage though, about a year ago. :(

http://www.1-costaricalink.com/costa_rica_pictures/mal_pais_santa_teresa_picture/mal_pais_santa_teresa_picture_61b.jpg

Oh and I found it by searching on Yahoo images for Mal Pais Costa Rica (where we used to live)... My friend pointed it out to me a while ago.

Heh... Another picture of my mom...

http://www.1-costaricalink.com/costa_rica_pictures/mal_pais_santa_teresa_picture/mal_pais_santa_teresa_picture_56b.jpg

My condolences for her loss.

Didn't mean to open up this particular avenue of discussion, though I can hang in there if you want me to.

She's a lovely woman.

My condolences for her loss.

Didn't mean to open up this particular avenue of discussion, though I can hang in there if you want me to.

She's a lovely woman.
Yeah, I don't like to be seen in public with her. Makes my self-esteem go down, because I get checked out by about half as many guys as she does. She'd look better if she knew the camera were there. ;)

Well, you're the smart guy in Korea with access to a computer.

I'm sure you don't need my advice when it comes to downloading provocative images of naked ladies.

Your right. But you make it sound as though no one in Korea has access to a computer lol. South Korea has more high speed internet connections per capita than any country on earth, how about that.

Yeah DF you mom looks nice :)

Your right. But you make it sound as though no one in Korea has access to a computer lol. South Korea has more high speed internet connections per capita than any country on earth, how about that.

Yeah DF you mom looks nice :)
Wow, I never would have guessed South Korea for that...

Thanks. :)

Wow, I never would have guessed South Korea for that...

Thanks. :)

They also have more cell phones per capita I believe than anyone. Yeah its not so bad over here :P

Samsung is also based here, and they make more computer chips than anyone lol.

Iceland for the connections. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/4903776.stm

I believe Sweden or Finland had the cell phone record, may have recently changed.

Iceland for the connections. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/4903776.stm

I believe Sweden or Finland had the cell phone record, may have recently changed.

Oh lord, Korea is second, im sorry, and that article is a year old.

I read something more recent somewhere, let me find it

how about some of the things we did to cherrys coming into the unit for the first time.

"go down to the CP and tell the first sergeant we need a PRICK-E8 ASAP"
or "go down to the CP and get me a box of grid squares" or "go down to the CP and get me some chemlight batteries"

how about some of the things we did to cherrys coming into the unit for the first time.

"go down to the CP and tell the first sergeant we need a PRICK-E8 ASAP"
or "go down to the CP and get me a box of grid squares" or "go down to the CP and get me some chemlight batteries"

In the Air Force they'd tell you to fetch 100' of flight line, or a bucket of prop wash.

What the hell is a "buffer"? :confused:

The machine that polishes the floor

The machine that polishes the floor

we answered that question already, way back, duuuuuhhhh pay attention WW!

he wasn't here.

In the Air Force they'd tell you to fetch 100' of flight line, or a bucket of prop wash.
prop wash? damn! you're old!

we answered that question already, way back, duuuuuhhhh pay attention WW!
Careful with the insults, he may buff your face in. With a buffer of course. Well, he'd have you be really strong to hold it like that, or you'd have to be on the floor. How would he get you on the floor? Drugs? Alcohol? Money? Tranquilizer? Picture of Rosie O'Donnell?

This scenario is full of mystery.

prop wash? damn! you're old!

I noticed you knew what I was talking about...;)