I'm unconventional
"I always jump on the latest fad such as organic food."

I'm crrrrrazzzzzy!!!!
"I engage in social conventions such as consuming alcohol, socialising and casual sex."

I'm mad!!!
"I have a pen-pushing office job."

I'm young at heart
"I have a pension policy and life insurance."

I'm not your typical guy
"I have picked up and often repeat the ubiquitous mantra that 'I'm not your typical guy'."

I'm very spontaneous
"I insist on having my own way."

I'm open-minded
"I have no doubt whatsoever that my whimsical beliefs are totally correct."

I'm a joker
"I frequently have to explain that I am 'only joking' as tumbleweed swirls by."

I think for myself.
"I find the mantra 'I think for myself' a soothing substitute for thinking."

Hah... so true...

I don't care what other people think.
LOOOOVVVVEEE MEEEEEEE!

I love those kind of self professions. They are believeable for a millisecond, I feel myself lean with a....hmmmm, are they feeling.

I don't care what other people think.
LOOOOVVVVEEE MEEEEEEE!heheheh. Nice.

These aren't mine but those of a friend from an identical thread I started on another site...

I'm a critical thinker
"I'm really critical about thoughts that don't align with my own preconceived and unexamined notions."

I'm into all sorts of music
"I listen exclusively to whatever commercialized one-hit wonder is popular with the in-crowd this week."

I've been all over the world
"I've seen every port and nothing beyond that."

I'm the adventurous type
"I'm a dreamer who lives through the Discovery channel."

I have an idea that's gonna revolutionize the way we think
"And it's called the wheel!"

I'm very environmentally conscious
"I spend 2 hours in the shower every morning, spraying my hair with chemicals that will take the better part of a millenia to seep out of the ecosphere, and smear on the Maybeline that's been tested on animals from a now-depleted bio-system like it was going out of style before I attend a protest-rally to save the Amazon which will involve the large-scale deportation of indigenous people and a 50-year economical setback for a country clawing it's way out of 3rd world status in order to save a newly discovered frog with absolutely adorable eyes."

I'm in the prime of my life
"I'm childless and caught up against the glassceiling."

I'm not a racist by any stretch
"I just believe my race is superior - but equal, of course."

I believe in free speech
"As long as you don't say anything that offends me."

I believe in tolerance and respect
"As long as it's a one-way street."

I want the federal government off my butt
"Where the hell were those incompetent fools during Katrina?!"

I love our freedom
"America/Japan/France is the only place on the planet which isn't under the yoke of juntas and petty dictators."

I know my constitutional right
"I'm clueless about the law, but really good at paroting catchy slogans."

I'll think about it
"Take out a loan and buy a clue: the answer is 'NO'."

I gotta keep the faith/think positive/keep my chin up/shoot the works/go for it/take a chance blah blah
"I'm at the end of the rope and about to realize that I've been chasing a fata morgana."

I'm into all sorts of music
"I listen exclusively to whatever commercialized one-hit wonder is popular with the in-crowd this week."

Hey, this one's not always true. I DO listen to all sorts of music.

Anyone wanna translate my own self-professions?

I love to be an asshole.

I would love to smack the shit out of a fat woman, for no reason at all than the fact that she was fat, and female.

I relish negativity, and always look for the negative first, before the positive.

If I could, I would put an egg cannon on my pickup truck to nail people that cut me off.

I think I'm better than everyone else.

I really do know everything, and want nothing more than the opportunity to tell it all to you.

I'm pretty damn sure I could beat the crap out of you.

Maybe I should put these on T-shirts!

Anyone wanna translate my own self-professions?

I love to be an asshole.

I would love to smack the shit out of a fat woman, for no reason at all than the fact that she was fat, and female.

I relish negativity, and always look for the negative first, before the positive.

If I could, I would put an egg cannon on my pickup truck to nail people that cut me off.

I think I'm better than everyone else.

I really do know everything, and want nothing more than the opportunity to tell it all to you.

I'm pretty damn sure I could beat the crap out of you.

Maybe I should put these on T-shirts!

:rolleyes:

I love to be an asshole.
"I look at Goatse an hour a day."
I would love to smack the shit out of a fat woman, for no reason at all than the fact that she was fat, and female.
"I have sex fantasies about Kathy Bates and Roseanne."
I relish negativity, and always look for the negative first, before the positive.
"I had a bad experience with batteries when I was little."
If I could, I would put an egg cannon on my pickup truck to nail people that cut me off.
"I relish in aborting chicken fetuses. Some call me Napster McChicken."
I think I'm better than everyone else.
"I am young, and have a small dick. Why doesn't anyone love me?"
I really do know everything, and want nothing more than the opportunity to tell it all to you.
"I crave attention, I also crave ramen noodles."
I'm pretty damn sure I could beat the crap out of you.
"I'm pretty sure that you'd be able to tear off my cock, so I'll intimidate you with some tough talk to make me feel like Sylvester Stallone. Yuh."
Maybe I should put these on T-shirts!
"I need a job. One that doesn't involve dick sucking."

"I am young, and have a small dick. Why doesn't anyone love me?"

A truer statement was never made! :D

"I look at Goatse an hour a day."

"I have sex fantasies about Kathy Bates and Roseanne."

"I had a bad experience with batteries when I was little."

"I relish in aborting chicken fetuses. Some call me Napster McChicken."

"I am young, and have a small dick. Why doesn't anyone love me?"

"I crave attention, I also crave ramen noodles."

"I'm pretty sure that you'd be able to tear off my cock, so I'll intimidate you with some tough talk to make me feel like Sylvester Stallone. Yuh."

"I need a job. One that doesn't involve dick sucking."
Awesome! :D

A truer statement was never made! :D
you know this how?:lolhit: