Tired of being stuck in no-where, SC? Want fun, travel & adventure out of the country you despise? Here's a job with your name all over it:

According to Norway's Newspaper VG (which is currently running a series on odd summer jobs), teenager Svein Tore Hauge's job may take the prize: Armed with a shovel and a container, he works at Saerheim Plant Research, following cattle around and catching their excreta before it can hit the ground. Because the work-product is used for scientific study, it must be "pristine," free of grass, dirt, foreign bacteria, etc. Sometimes, it's easy, he said, but, "Sometimes it just sprays in all directions." [Aftenposten (Oslo), 6-25-03]

Perhaps leaving the U.S. does not suit your tender sensibilities. Gillette just might have a position for you with this research lab:

The Wall Street Journal, profiling the Gillette Co.'s research lab, reported that lab director Ahmet Baydar is working not just on ordinary antibacterial-plus-fragrance products but on a substance that actually blocks odor receptors in other people's noses. (Gillette's tests use a synthetic malodor compound so strong that more than a few molecules can make a room uninhabitable, and involve five odor judges who sniff actual armpits and rate them 1 to 10, with 10 meaning "your head snaps back.") [Australian Broadcasting Corporation, 6-26-03] [Wall Street Journal, 6-16-03]

LMAO ES......

Gives new meaning to the saying " catching sh** on the job"

Here's one that's close to home, requested by "AEKidd19", looking for a supplier of: "... pig cum ...".
He states: "... i wouldnt care if they pumped it full of pig cum i would still it eat LOL!!! ...."
As he lives in nowhere NC, that's just up the road from nowhere SC, there's got to be pig farmers nearby, you can be pivot man for a oinker circle jerk.

Contact Canadian videomaker Jana Sterbak. Ms Sterbak is exploring reactions to pain. Recently, she strapped a camera to a Jack Russell terrier, Stanley. Among his experiences was an innocent but intrusive exploration of a porcupine, which eventually provoked a quill attack, at which point the video goes haywire as Stanley jumps and writhes in pain. Ms Sterbak certainly could find something appropriate for you to explore to aid in her research.