These are actual 'Personal Ads' from a Dublin Newspaper.

Heavy Drinker, 35, Cork area, seeks gorgeous sex
addict interested in a man who loves his pints, cigarettes,
Glasgow Celtic Football Club and has been known to starting
fights on Patrick Street at 3 o clock in the morning.
.................................................. .................................

Bitter disillusioned Dublin man, lately rejected by longtime fiancee,
seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists
in this cruel world of hatchet faced bitches.
.................................................. ....................................

Ginger haired Galway man, a troublemaker, gets slit eyed and shirty
after a few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes
maybe more.
.................................................. ............................................

Bad tempered,foul mouthed old bastard, living in a damp cottage
in the arse end of Roscommon, seeks attractive 21 yo blonde lady
with a lovely chest.
.................................................. ..........................................

Limerick man, 27, medium build,brown hair,blue eyes,
seeks alibi for the nite of September 27 between 8pm and 11:30.
.................................................. ...........................................

Optimistic Mayo man, 35,seeks a blonde 20 yo double jointed supermodel,
who owns her own brewry,and has an open minded twin sister.

Those are excellent