Even though I was an engineering student at the University
of Maryland, chemistry was a required course. The professor,
on the first day of class, asked everyone to name the most
outstanding contribution chemistry had made to society.

When my turn came, I answered, "Blondes!"

**
A JEWISH MOTHER

Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight?

You're going out?

Yes.

With whom?

With a friend.

I don't know why you left your husband.
He is such a good man.

I didn't leave him. He left me!

You let him leave you, and now you go out with
anybody and nobody.

I do not go out with anybody.
Can I bring over the kids?

I never left you to go out with anybody except your
father.

There are lots of things that you did and I don't.

What are you hinting at?

Nothing. I just want to know if I can bring the kids
over tonight.

You're going to stay the night with him?
What will your husband say if he finds out?

My EX husband. I don't think he would be bothered.
From the day he left me, he probably never slept
alone!

So you're going to sleep over at this loser's place?

He's not a loser.

A man who goes out with a divorced woman with children
is a loser and a parasite.

I don't want to argue. Should I bring over the kids
or not?

Poor children with such a mother.

Such as what?

With no stability. No wonder your husband left you.

ENOUGH !!

Don't scream at me. You probably scream at this
loser too!

Now you're worried about the loser?

Ah, so you see he's a loser. I spotted him
immediately.

Goodbye, mother.

Wait! Don't hang up! When are you bringing
them over?

I'm not bringing them over! I'm not going out!

If you never go out, how do you expect to meet
anyone?

Reminds me of this (http://www.amysansweringmachine.com/cdinfo.htm)

hahaha