The XONA Institute of Biblical Interpretation

September 24, 2006

For immediate release

The XONA institute of Biblical Interpretation (XIBI) has made a major
discovery that may well reshape the world as we know it. A special
team of researchers in the Middle East has discovered ancient scrolls
that have proven to contain secret codes, written by GOD Itself that
presents the Bible in a whole new light.

After thousands of man-hours going over the coded messages from GOD,
the XIBI has decoded the cryptic wording and now for the first time
makes available GOD's TRUE WORDS. Everything that has been and will
be is described in exacting detail. Apparently, the Bible is not the
direct word of GOD, but rather a brilliantly written collection of
books that contain various stories and sayings that are the words
that make up a very clever code. The key to unlocking the code is in
the thousands of scrolls that the XIBI scholars have discovered and
deciphered.

Actually, the code itself is very simple, as you would expect from the
creator of the Universe. Below is just one of the coded messages from
GOD. It concerns our own times and actually names a person living in
the USA today. AMAZING, Absolutely amazing.

The King James Version of the Bible has proven to be the best bible
for the deciphered words of GOD.

The following coded message is a warning from GOD to us as it appears
on scroll XXIV:

JUc13p4s1w3GEc1p6s1w12EXc3p19s1w18LEc3p4s1w7GEc26p 13s1w3RUc4p12s1w6
MAc5p14s1w6GEc38p2s1w11NUc7p12s1w8EXc17p7s1w5LEc4p 3s1w5ISc17p13s1w4
JOc12p2s1w6NUc11p17s1w3DEc9p4s1w1GEc1p30s1w9EXc2p4 s1w2ROc10p3s1w4HE
c6p12s1w7LEc4p13s1w9JOc36p28s1w2PRc30p19s1w8

Each new word begins with two capitol letters representing a book of
the bible, followed by the chapter, paragraph, sentence, and word
position in that sentence.

Using the above formula we can deciper the above coded message as thus:

JUc13p4s1w3 Bk of JUDGES = Beware
GEc1p6s1w12 BK of GENESIS = of
EXc3p19s1w18 BK of EXODUS = a
LEc3p4s1w7 BK of LEVITICUS = fat
GEc26p13s1w3 BK of GENESIS = man
RUc4p12s1w6 BK of RUTH = like
MAc5p14s1w6 BK of MARK = swine
GEc38p2s1w11 BK of GENESIS = whose
NUc7p12s1w8 BK of NUMBERS = first
EXc17p7s1w5 BK of EXODUS = name
LEc4p3s1w5 BK of LEVITICUS = is
ISc17p13s1w4 BK of ISAIAH = Rush
JOc12p2s1w6 BK of JOSHUA = who
NUc11p17s1w3 BK of NUMBERS = will
DEc9p4s1w1 BK of DEUTERONOMY = speak
GEc1p30s1w9 BK of GENESIS = to
EXc2p4s1w2 BK of EXODUS = his
ROc10p3s1w4 BK of ROMANS = ignorant
HEc6p12s1w7 BK of HEBREWS = followers
LEc4p13s1w9 BK of LEVITICUS = through
JOc36p28s1w2 BK of JOB = the
PRc30p19s1w8 BK of PROVERBS = air

There you have it friends, from GOD'S lips to you. A warning from GOD to
contemporary America about Rush Limbaugh.

Time for a refill on that medicine you were given.

No comment.

No comment.
holy crap...stop the presses...a first... :D

Crass, yet clever, my Canadian colleague.

So, if God has warned us about the Evils of Rush, why did he lend him all that talent that has made him the superstar of the conservative movement that he is?


Dammit.

Maybe Lance didn't notice that Rush is no longer a fat man because his tin foil hat slipped and covered his eyes.

Look I'm all for a person having their opionions. But in this day and age, wasn't that a long, long, long, long, long (did I mention long?) way to go for a chuckle at best. Wasn't even that funny, but you did suceed in drawing attention to yourself.

So, if God has warned us about the Evils of Rush, why did he lend him all that talent that has made him the superstar of the conservative movement that he is?
Dammit.

Mr. Dammit: God did not lend this guy anything, he did borrowed it, but from a different source, he got it from Satan!

Dammit!