America's grestest telephone sex jerk-off professional
Bill O'Reilly, or as he is known at Fox News - Jerk-Off
Billy Boy - claimed today that telephone sex actresses
across America have made him their number one target.

"I'm afraid to answer the telephone anymore," barked a
red faced, angry, and slobbering O'Reilly as he complained
about the massive amounts of time and money that he spends
each month on telephone, jerking-off to the sexual fantasies
that are the essence of his daily life.

Various telephone sex actresses said that the word is out
across America, that Jerk-off Bill is an easy mark that
can't put the phone down once he starts to hear that which
gets him up so he can pound away, hour after hour.

Sources within Fox News Corporation, speaking anonymously,
said that it is common knowledge at Fox News that Bill loves
to play with himself as he watches taped segments of his
nightly show. "He really gets excited and ejaculates frequently
when watching himself rip into and savage the poor suckers
who come onto his show for their opportunity to be abused by
Jerk-off Bill," reported a high level Fox News employee.

You've outdone yourself Lance.