Some people are just blessed with winning personalities that others just can't seem to get enough of. I struggled with problems with my personality since I was a kid. I was always shy, quiet and reserved. Now, I'm more confident, but still, I have lots of trouble openning up to new people. I think I'm okay once you get to know me, I like to crack some jokes, laugh alot, and like to go out and do things. But, somhow it's not enough. How do you develp a great personality? Meaning, how do you become more outgoing and fun to be around. I feel at times my personality is so blah which is why I have such a hard time keeping others interested in me. I am a part of a commitee and there are these two women there who look around my age who I'd like to make friends with. It's kind of stupid, but I don't know how to get them interested in being my friend! I'm dying to find new people to hang out with because I barely have any friends. Help!

Ask Napster, he is the self proffessed life of the party, He just attracts attention when he walks in a room, just one big hunk of a guy we humble mortals can only dream of one day being...

Through activities, events, and places you like to go/do, find some people that have similar interests (such as in your neighborhood, at work, at your place of worship, your child's friend's parents, volunteer groups etc). That gives you common ground so you have something to build off of, as well as a selection of people to help you find more potential friends.
But in the end, don't bother changing your personality for them, if they do not accept you as you are...chances are that they will not be the best choice of friends and you do not need to associate with people such as that.

Let your personality flow, be who you are and then you will be able to find true friendships.

Some really great points Evak

Also, people tend to gravitate towards those people whom seem happy and outgoing. If whereever you are, your posture, facial expression and perhaps clothing announce you are unhappy/sad/angry etc, people are going to be less likely to want to converse with you.

Ask Napster, he is the self proffessed life of the party, He just attracts attention when he walks in a room, just one big hunk of a guy we humble mortals can only dream of one day being...

Damn skippy. 'Bout time you recognized.

Meshell, one of the things that helped me out immensely was that I was lucky enough to meet a guy with the perfect attitude, like nothing could ever bother him, and that everything else is just a temporary setback to his happiness. It was a great influence to me at the time. The trouble with that is it has to come out naturally. Obviously in your case you would have some reservations that would keep that attitude from flowing naturally. My advice to you is to find those reservations in yourself and address them. At the same time, you must re-evaluate how you look at the rest of the world. Look for the fun opportunities that exist in every situation.

Another thing you might do is cultivate a hobby and talk about it a lot. Being "that guy who surfs," can be a big turn-on. I don't know where you live, but chances are there is s nature based activity that you can do. Or, you could pick up a musical instrument. I know, "that guy with the guitar," sounds cliche, but that can only positively impact your personality.

One thing that attracts people to someone is confidence. If you believe in yourself and think you are interesting you will be. Everyone is interesting in some way. Another thing that comes to mind is that if you want to make friends with someone, make the first move. Go over to them, and start a conversation. It helps if you talk about their interests, or about them. Ask questions, and listen to their answers. Make them the center of attention at first. If you do that, most people will enjoy your company, and become interested in you as a potential friend.

Confidence is nice, but you do not need it to make friends. If you are not a confident person, attempting to make yourself one is putting the cart before the horse.

I don't like it when people ask others for advice of this nature, and the best they can come up with is, "Just be yourself," or, "You have to be confident." They already knew that, they are asking for advice on how to be confident. Confidence cannot be taught. It can't even be cultivated. It just has to happen.

I think, Imagineer, that you are not wise to how youth interact with each other today. These days, people need to focus on themselves. I used to talk to a lot of people, putting them first, allowing them to talk about themselves. I was very polite. Guess what? I didn't make a whole lot of friends. I didn't get invited anywhere, and it took me forever to get myself into a social scene. Then I decided that I didn't care about all this social nonsense. I found a few people I liked, and befriended them. Through them, I met others. No matter where I am, or what I am doing, I just speak my mind.

That is a hard thing for an introvert to learn how to do, speak his mind. But it helps him a lot more than it helps an extravert.

A lot of people like that, honesty. I speak what I want and mean what I say. It might piss a few people off, but I make a lot more friends in the process. I go places, and get myself invited to the events I want to go to.

Getting friends isn't rocket science. Keep that in mind, and you'll do just fine.

I find that the best things to do are to find common interests in various activities, hobbies, views, etc. and spark conversations from there. Another thing I do is jokes...why? Cause everyone love 'em! I had the exact same problem that you did when I was younger, but that's how I made a lot of my friends.

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