Write down the stupidest thing you heard today. You can do this for however many other days you wish.

Stupidest Comment of the day...


Me: I'm female and I said... "I have a twin brother"
Them: Wow, so are you guys like identical? :confused:

Being lazy and over eating will not cause you to become a half ton

sorry Borg but I'm still laughing at how you worded that one :D

a friend once asked, "what time does the hospital opens?" then I said, "duh?"!

How much does a ton of chocolate weigh? Someone said...I dunno...I was like YOU LITTLE...

A customer at my shop asked, "how late are you open"?
My reply was, "we are open 24/7, we do not close."
To which brianiac asks, "Even on Sunday"?

I work at Staples. Customers often mispronounce things. Examples:

Epson becomes "Espin."
Maxell is "Maxwell."
Verbatim becomes "Verbation."
Lexmark becomes "Lenmar."
SD (Secure Digital) cards become "Sandisks."
USB thumb drives become "memory sticks."
And my personal favorite, USB cables become "UBS cables."

The stupidest question I ever heard came when I was watching the rodeo. Some guy won the bull riding competition (I'll call him Cowboy Bob from here on out) and a reporterette was going to interview him. The only problem about this is that Cowboy Bob had his jaw broken by a bull a couple of weeks earlier and his mouth was wired shut. I was thinking, this guy isn't going to have a lot to say, but maybe they'll just ask him yes or no questions. The interview came up and the first thing the reporterette asked Cowboy Bob was what he thought of the bull he rode! :rolleyes: Needless to say, Cowboy Bob wasn't saying much, dammit.

Coach Knight, formerly at IU, was never known for his tact, haha.

He was especially impatient of reporters' dumb questions--once after a tough game which IU won by only a few, Leslie Visser, who will never win the Pulitzer Prize, asked with a smirk and a simper,
"Well, Coach, how did you mange to win THIS one?"

Coach looked at her like she was the world's dumbest person (correct) and answered very slowly and patiently,
"Well, Leslie, 'cause we SCORED MORE POINTS than they did."

Gosh I miss Coach. You could always count on him to put the dumb and the rude in their place.

This wasn't something stupid I heard today, but I have to say it was one of the funniest things I think anyone has ever said. It was while I was at work between me and my boss. The conversation went something like:

Boss: Hey, you guys really need to get moving on this, we're falling behind.
Me: We're going as fast as we possible can, it's just coming in too fast
Boss: It's alright, take your time. Just hurry up a little bit that's all.

Sure. No problem.

There was a news report yesterday saying a Tornado had caused some damage in Manchester.
My friend said, " I didn't know those old planes were still flying".

What the Fu** ?!

Originally posted by Bill
There was a news report yesterday saying a Tornado had caused some damage in Manchester.
My friend said, " I didn't know those old planes were still flying".

What the Fu** ?!

http://www.tornado-data.com/images/Tornado%20GR1.jpg

I mean you guys get it don't you?

A Tor-na-do...as in a hurricane..had caused minor damage to some rooftops in Manchester.
My friend, bizarrely, had thought they meant a Tornado Bomber, as pictured above, had BOMBED houses in Manchester...
But it wasn't just that he had misunderstood completely. What really got me was his reaction to this news. Not, "Hey! What the hecks a Tornado doing dropping bombs", or, " Jesus were gonna die, lets get out of here", but ," uhmm..I didn't realise those old planes were still flying".

I mean c'mon. That's stupid.

Originally posted by Bill


I mean c'mon. That's stupid.

Well I got it, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity to post a cool picture.