Why don't they have a pro football team in Milwaukee? Because then Chicago would want one.

Why weren't the Bears 33rd in offense last year? Only 32 teams.

What's the difference between Dick Cheney and the White Sox? For $100, Cheney could score.

It's a shame that the 114-year-old woman died. That means one less person who can hazily recall the last time the Cubs won something.

Why did the Blackhawks...f*ck, who cares.

What do you call all the Chi. owners standing side by side?
Total shitheads. (Wind tunnel doesn't cut it.)

Feel free to pile on.