[b]Study proven today that President Bush is indeed a chimpanzee. DNA Samples were taken from several chimpanzees and matched up to the Presidents.

Test results are a match. A Chimpanzee named Bubbles...oddly enough he was Michael Jacksons former pet. Then matched up to a female chimpanzee proving Bush is indeed adopted.

No comment from SR Bush or Barbara today and the president declined to comment. But our reporters caught the president swinging from several branches on trees on the White House lawn. Also in back a pile of banana peels were littered on the lawn. When he seen photographers he promptly started beating on his chest.

Perhaps Bush doesnt want to comment because something happened between Michael Jackson,Bubbles and GWB. You remember the Tom Green Flick Freddy got Fingered...they are now going to make a movie titled George W. Bush got fingered....and naturally Michael Moore is set to direct![b]:)