MotherKali
07-17-2005, 08:12 PM
This is an awesome story my friend wrote. I'll see if I can get him to join allforums.
The Lama
This is a story of a man who is forociusly attacked by a Lama It is a comedy it is largely crazy and bizar DON'T ASK QUESTIONS!
I couldn't find my face deep ten thousand feet below the snow. I was a searching and a searching but no face then it came to me it must have been a lama a spitting kind yes I hade once looked deep into his eyes then he bit off my face burying it deep in the snow I was concerned after all a face is a face so i decided to look for my chewed up face. Ten years later my face is gone still gone and you think the snow has melted huh? Well it hadn’t k? It just hadn’t even, on the equator.
So I took a peanut and used it for my face, I found the lama asleep in the hay and decided to take his big, fat, ugly, juicy, slobbery, disgusting, head but he spat in my eyes yes, yes, I lived but did it hurt.
Just like the time Uncle Mo lit his hair on fire my eyes burnt for days in the smell of his greasy hair. I despise my uncle he lit the fire, he set the lama to sick me, he made that lama chase me to the equator, and loose my face in the snow I was determined to get my face back. I dug, and dug, and dug, and dug, and dug, then I found my face the long years, the trials, the errors, the death, the life, the winning, the losing, I had found my face, all the long years, the trials, the errors, the death, the life, the winning, the losing. Then to my uncleÂ’s house I ran, and ran, and ran, till I got to His house.
The butler caught me spying through the window. He grabbed me by the shoulder and said, “What happened to you kid? Got in a fight with the barber and lost?” I didn't answer. I rammed his face into a random glob of jello by the door. I walked in, I walked down a corridor covered in abstract paintings I came to a room “Uncle!!!!!” I said. I've come for you, and your soul.”
“And what does that make you? The Grim Reaper, Haw, haw?” Said the Butler, laughing at his own joke.
Before I could find another glob of Jello, there was a high-pitched chuckle. “Oh-dear he is awake!” said the butler, running out and slamming the door behind him.
It was Uncle Mo’s high-pitched voice.
"He, he, he! He, he, he he, sick him lama!" he said pointing to me. The lama, it was on his side after all these years. “Now I’ve got you!” I said.
"No lama got you!" Mo said.
The lama bit me but I bit back, then the lama fell down because my venom was too strong for it. I bit Mo stole his money and he shouted curse words. I washed his mouth out with a bar of soap and he started to twitch, twitch, twitch. So I stole his money and three-piece tux and I was off. Then the lama chased after me I ran, the lama ran, then we both ran until i got to the bridge of one hair. But the lama stopped because he could not cross.
"Whoa betide ye if you come back again" said the lama.
“I do not think so.” I said and lived happily ever after.
by: Andrew
ps, Borg, I know the grammar sucks so shut up!
The Lama
This is a story of a man who is forociusly attacked by a Lama It is a comedy it is largely crazy and bizar DON'T ASK QUESTIONS!
I couldn't find my face deep ten thousand feet below the snow. I was a searching and a searching but no face then it came to me it must have been a lama a spitting kind yes I hade once looked deep into his eyes then he bit off my face burying it deep in the snow I was concerned after all a face is a face so i decided to look for my chewed up face. Ten years later my face is gone still gone and you think the snow has melted huh? Well it hadn’t k? It just hadn’t even, on the equator.
So I took a peanut and used it for my face, I found the lama asleep in the hay and decided to take his big, fat, ugly, juicy, slobbery, disgusting, head but he spat in my eyes yes, yes, I lived but did it hurt.
Just like the time Uncle Mo lit his hair on fire my eyes burnt for days in the smell of his greasy hair. I despise my uncle he lit the fire, he set the lama to sick me, he made that lama chase me to the equator, and loose my face in the snow I was determined to get my face back. I dug, and dug, and dug, and dug, and dug, then I found my face the long years, the trials, the errors, the death, the life, the winning, the losing, I had found my face, all the long years, the trials, the errors, the death, the life, the winning, the losing. Then to my uncleÂ’s house I ran, and ran, and ran, till I got to His house.
The butler caught me spying through the window. He grabbed me by the shoulder and said, “What happened to you kid? Got in a fight with the barber and lost?” I didn't answer. I rammed his face into a random glob of jello by the door. I walked in, I walked down a corridor covered in abstract paintings I came to a room “Uncle!!!!!” I said. I've come for you, and your soul.”
“And what does that make you? The Grim Reaper, Haw, haw?” Said the Butler, laughing at his own joke.
Before I could find another glob of Jello, there was a high-pitched chuckle. “Oh-dear he is awake!” said the butler, running out and slamming the door behind him.
It was Uncle Mo’s high-pitched voice.
"He, he, he! He, he, he he, sick him lama!" he said pointing to me. The lama, it was on his side after all these years. “Now I’ve got you!” I said.
"No lama got you!" Mo said.
The lama bit me but I bit back, then the lama fell down because my venom was too strong for it. I bit Mo stole his money and he shouted curse words. I washed his mouth out with a bar of soap and he started to twitch, twitch, twitch. So I stole his money and three-piece tux and I was off. Then the lama chased after me I ran, the lama ran, then we both ran until i got to the bridge of one hair. But the lama stopped because he could not cross.
"Whoa betide ye if you come back again" said the lama.
“I do not think so.” I said and lived happily ever after.
by: Andrew
ps, Borg, I know the grammar sucks so shut up!