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Dunkirk101
04-01-2005, 04:58 AM
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest
country in the world, Mexifornia formally known as California. White
minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third
language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and
livestock.

Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the
Middle East (formerly known as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more
years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels..

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally,
but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail
delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed,
they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut. (hey! I just sent it.
I didn't write it!)

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters
and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political
contributions to campaign accounts.

Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have s e x with congressman.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines

GW_Rules
04-01-2005, 05:59 AM
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.


Too Funny!!! I almost spit my coffee out.

es347fan
04-01-2005, 06:02 AM
The Buffalo Bills go home winless after 18 apperances in the Super Bowl

Vilepagan
04-01-2005, 07:27 AM
BorgHunter loses his virginity :D

mad dog
04-01-2005, 07:57 AM
Vile now your just plain dreaming and making stuff up :D

Very funny Dunkirk101

Teddy
04-01-2005, 12:01 PM
Originally posted by Dunkirk101
White
minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third
language.


Just curiosity...which would be the second language in Mexifornia:D???
Spanglish??? :D :D

BorgHunter
04-01-2005, 04:07 PM
Originally posted by Vilepagan
BorgHunter loses his virginity :D
HEY! There's no chance of it happening that early!

Travh20
04-01-2005, 04:18 PM
efforts to encourage the Preservation of red Legged Frogs has all californians living in a 2 mile by 2 mile square piece of land

Imagineer
04-01-2005, 05:02 PM
Pope John Paul II still alive in a persistent vegatative state. Lawsuits to terminate life support continue.

Travh20
04-01-2005, 05:04 PM
LOL, thats a good one. that creepy George Fellos will probalby be the guy trying to yank the tube then too

OldPhart
04-01-2005, 05:18 PM
Barry Bonds hits home runs #2500 and #2501, in a losing cause today. This was the second consecutive home opening loss for the L.A. Dynabols. Final score L.A. 46 - Chicago Anabolic's 117.

DracRomin
04-01-2005, 06:59 PM
Tiger Woods still playing with own balls, Nike says.

thetruth05
04-02-2005, 09:24 PM
"The Boston Red Sox Are On A 25 Year Drought."
"The Curse Of The Billy Goat Continues To Haunt The Cubbies."
"Viagra Becomes "The Pill."
"George Bush Continues To Say Nucular."
"Cuba, We've Come To Liberate You."

Evil Homer
04-02-2005, 10:16 PM
"All words dealing with a person's age, race, sex, religion, political orientation, sexual orientation, nationality, eye color, job, or species are now considered hateful. Persons using such words will be brought up on the charge of hate crimes, and if convicted, will face execution as a part of the new Civil Liberties Act."

LionelHutz
04-02-2005, 10:49 PM
"College Republicans were banned from campus today after being deemed a 'hate group.'"

Blibblob
04-02-2005, 11:05 PM
" "

DanF
04-04-2005, 10:26 AM
The Rapture will occur this year.

LionelHutz
04-04-2005, 11:26 AM
"The Bureau of National Health Care, which employs 50% of all Americans, announced that it had a budget deficit of $3 trillion and would need to suspend free health care for all but its own employees."

DanF
04-04-2005, 12:25 PM
"Several Americans seized today as they attempted to cross the border into Mexico seeking jobs."

"American troops will soon be leaving Iraq."

"One of the Christian ministers on the Supreme Court said today...."

Travh20
04-04-2005, 03:20 PM
Reality TV finally goes extinct. becoming only a bad memory

Evil Homer
04-04-2005, 06:58 PM
"The Simpsons is entering its 37th season this year. It should be noted that the creater, all of the original writers, producers, actors, and anyone else involved are now dead."