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View Full Version : Decka's Tidbits....


Decka
03-22-2005, 04:12 PM
i dont know if this will be an on-going thing, but i see some interesting things in the news.... and thought id post them.

ITEM: A Wisconsin man who drove a forklift for a Miller beer distributor was fired after a newspaper published a picture of hime drinking a Bud Light. Isac Aguero was photographed at a bar for an article about local nightlife. "Bud Light's my beer of choice," said Aguero. "it was a Saturday and i wasn't at work. They can't tell me what beverages I can drink."

ITEM: A married New Jersey businessman sued the maker of herbal penis-enlargement pills for false advertising. Michael Coluzzi, 35, said he'd swallowed every one of the 30 pills and "experienced no increase in penis size".

ITEM: A California elementary school is requiring that all students wear ID tags that can be tracked through radio signals. The scanning system, designed to monitor inventory and livestock, will track students of the Brittan School District as they move through classrooms and bathrooms. Michelle Tatro said her 13-year-old daughter came home from school saying, "Look at this. I'm a grocery item. I'm a piece of meat." But Tim Crabtree, a teacher, said the tags would improve security. "It's baffling why so many people are bothered by the district being able to tell them where their kids are at."

ITEM: A Valentine's Day Balloon bearing the words "I Love You" drifted into an electrical substation, causing a power outage in 2,100 Indiana homes.

ITEM: A Michigan woman pleaded guilty to driving while drunk as a result of swallowing half a bottle of Listerine mouthwash. Her blood alchohol level was .30, three times the legal limit. I bet she passed the breathalizer though LOL

ITEM: Police in Colorado used a Taser gun to subdue a man acuused of overloading his plate at a restaurant salad bar. Danon Gale, 29, and the manager of a Chuck E. Cheese got into an arguement over how much salad he'd taken. When police could not resolve the dispute peacefully, they shocked Gale twice with the stun gun. "They tased him in my sister's lap," said witness Felicia Mayo, "They had no regard for the effect this would have on the kids. This is a Chuck E. Cheese, you know."

ITEM: The mayor of Las Vegas told a fourth-grade class that if he had to be stranded on a desert island with only one luxury item, he would choose a bottle of gin.

ITEM: 30 percent of Filipinos surveyed by the government said they were unaware that having sex can lead to pregnancy.

ITEM: Officials of the Chinese government proposed a ban on public lip-synching. "Fake singing is no different from selling counterfeit goods," said a gov't official. " it should be resolutely boycotted and shunned." No China for Ashlee Simpson im guessing.

ITEM: An italian man, given six months to live by his doctors, went to court to collect his insurance payments. A judge told hime to come back for a ruling in 14 months.

ITEM: A California county has banned foul-smelling people from its libraries. A new law authorizes librarians in San Luis Obispo county to eject readers for a range of offenses, including exessive odor. Some variation in personal scent will be tolerated, said library director Brian Reynolds. but "if you and I are sitting in a reasonable distance from each other-three to five feet, in our society- and you've done something that's so bad i can't stand to talk to you, then that becomes on issue".


Thats all for now...... some are more comedy, others are actual issues.... until next time..... peace.............

Darth Be'lal
03-22-2005, 06:06 PM
I've read all those, Decka, some could be made into full blown posts. Anyway, good work overall. I'll feel safe knowing that the cops don't tolerate people taking too much salald at the Chuck E Cheese and I had no idea that ballons could wreak so much havoc.


Who the hell are you beating in your avatar, if I may ask?

Lungdop Philing
03-22-2005, 07:07 PM
Is that Michael Bolton (David Herman) beating the crap out of the printer in the movie Office Space?

BTW: good post ...

Dop

500lbguerilla
03-22-2005, 08:48 PM
This seems like it fits...

Nudist pastor to hold naked services

A naturist church minister has called on like-minded Christians to join him in celebrating religion in the nude.

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1324405.html?menu=news.quirkies

Decka
03-23-2005, 10:59 PM
well.... if you want to comment on any particular item... be my guest LOL

And yes that is Micheal Bolton.... LOL

"PC Load Letter??? What the Fuck does that mean???"

ITEM: I heard this on the radio today. A local town was in the midst of getting two new big time stores(i.e. Walmart and Home Depot) ... and they were still talking about buying the property in which to build these stores. Part of the needed property was a brick house, which was right off of the major street running through town.

the owner of the house was out of town for a few months....

So two speed addicts came up with the idea of taking the building down, peice by peice, and selling it in order to pay for their addiction to speed. People driving by assumed that it was for the new stores going in, so noone filed any complaint.

This went on for a few months...

so the owner finally comes home, and 90 percent of the house is gone. They file a report, saying their "house was stolen"

The officer asks "Is this a trailor home?" to which they reply "no, it's a brick house"....

The officer quickly replies "what???"

The speed addicts were quickly found and convicted.

sputnik
03-24-2005, 03:55 PM
Originally posted by Decka


ITEM: A California county has banned foul-smelling people from its libraries. A new law authorizes librarians in San Luis Obispo county to eject readers for a range of offenses, including exessive odor. Some variation in personal scent will be tolerated, said library director Brian Reynolds. but "if you and I are sitting in a reasonable distance from each other-three to five feet, in our society- and you've done something that's so bad i can't stand to talk to you, then that becomes on issue".


That's not only true in California. I'm in a library in Florida at this very minute, and a little while ago I was reading the rules and one of them said that anyone with B.O. due to a lack of personal hygiene would be asked to leave.

Disclaimer: Anyone who now chooses to make a joke about my personal hygiene gets their ass kicked.

500lbguerilla
03-25-2005, 03:24 PM
I'd report anyone wearing too much perfume or cologne. That shit drives my allergies wild.