Every since the age of ten, I have always held dreams and fantasies of how life for me would be as an adult. Almost everything I did in my youth was aimed at making these dreams and fantasies come true. Although most of them did manage to come true, I later found that they were not within my best interest. Well anyway, now that I’m no longer a child but instead an aging adult, it seems now that all I can think about is complaining about things that I have no control over. I’ve been doing this so much for so long, that I don’t even realize that I’m doing it sometimes. I blame the media and all of the “Gloom and Doom” that they cram down our throats almost daily for this.

"Someone got robbed"
"Someone got raped"
"Someone got killed"


It’s never anything good. I don’t know how badly this has affected my train of thought, but for some reason it’s like I no longer have any dreams or fantasies anymore. All I find myself doing is complaining abouth the garbage I see on the news, things that I have no control over and can do nothing about. I try not to watch the news, but it seems to follow me almost everwhere I turn. If I'm not seeing it on tv, then I'm hearing about it from someone else. This didn't seem to bother me when I was younger. In my youth I always dreamed about travelling to far away lands, meeting new people and learning new things from them. Excitement, Adventure,..ect ..ect (you get the picture).

Most of this came true for me (in a way) when I joined the army and went to Europe. Back then I got to see everything from midevel castles, to full moons and lunar eclipses on crystal clear nights in the country, to people from almost every race and culture on earth. Each one had a story to tell that broadened my views and opinions of the world greatly

Right now (at age 41) I have a well paying job that’s not very demanding (in fact its rather boring), but I find myself more and more missing the ambitious dreams and fantasies of my youth. I don’t know at what point in my life I stopped having dreams and fantasies, but I do know that they’ve all stopped. It’s like I no longer have any real goals anymore.

When I was in high school, one thing I used to really love to do, was walk in the night under the full moon. “Especially during the summer”. I don’t know what I found so enchanting about the moon then, but each full moon was something very special to me. The night to me was a time of solitude. A time when the rest of the world slept and I felt a lot safer to relax both my body and my mind. There was no one to interfere with any thoughts that ran rampant through my head then.

"No one calling me for anything"
"No one ordering me around,"
"No one wanting or needing anything from me. "

Back then the night was mines.

I can’t figure why I changed or when I lost my ability to fantasize, but I really would like to know.


Can anyone out there relate to where I’m coming from?

How many of you find yourselves in this position?

Do you still have dreams and fantasies?

If so.. do you still pursue them?

If not..do you know why?

Originally posted by Dunkirk101
Can anyone out there relate to where I’m coming from?

I would say most adults go through this, everyday life seems to take over and dreams fade away. Turns good energy into bad or boring energy. It can be changed even with something as small as a hobby.

How many of you find yourselves in this position?

I did, following the media politics etc... gets old real fast. I still watch the news but do it much less now. I also try to stay out of political conversations, they seem to suck a person in but the end result is nothing more then a b***h fest with no new improvements. If I do get into a debate I try to learn and also show why I feel the way I do, this will acomplish more {IMO}


Do you still have dreams and fantasies?

Sure do, and I try to share as much as possible with my familly, this works both ways

If so.. do you still pursue them?

Some where I have read "it is not so much the end result as it is the climb to get there." Of course it is nice when a dream comes true but then you have to start all over again. I like to do things in stages build up to something bigger. example, painting a house, make a plan on painting the whole house but only work on 1 room at a time. This way you feel like you have done something after each room and you still have your dream of the whole house.

If not..do you know why?

IMO dreams fade away because of the norm in everyday life. Too many folks worry about winning the lottery instead of living off of what they make. People get caught up in the daily crap that is thrown at them instead of just worrying about what makes them happy.

Sometimes I think I get bored because I have seen and done so many things.
When young, everything is new and discovery is everywhere.
Things that really hold my interest are farther between now.

I seem to be a little lazy now. My challenges seem to be more mental than physical.
Yet, when I do find something challenging the old energy returns.

My wife and I are looking for a new home to purchase. I know that I will find many things to occupy me in making changes to my liking.
I think that I will build the meditative garden that I have always wanted, including waterfall etc. This should be fun for awhile.

I suppose what I am saying is that we must still seek that which will occupy our thinking mind.

The negatives of dissatisfied people around us can influence us.
Laughter is the best medicine. Sometimes I think of people around me as cartoon characters for entertainment.

Here's my 2 cents:

We all would love to rekindle the dreams and passions of our youth in some sense. But it is our experience that has made us realise how untenable and fantasy based so much of it all was. Also, as Dan mentions, we physically are less energetic as we get older.

Personally I have finished my wild travelling and partying days and am now settling into a 'sensible' career in my home country. It feels the right time to do so and I am content and optimistic. Luckily for me I have an easy-going and contented (though not complacent) nature.

Try and let go of wild dreams. Some middle aged people (I'm 32 so am perhaps just under that marker at the moment) do try to recreate their youth: they take up clubbing and smoking joints, or go off to help elephants in sri lanka or whatever. For some it is a success but for many it just reaffirms that they have indeed lost their youth.

Aspire to grow wiser as you grow older. Aspire to become an elegant gentleman; avoid becoming a bitter old sod resenting lost hey-days. Become more open, not more conservative or stubborn. Cherish the calm, peace and wisdom of age without pining for crazy, confusing days of youth.

Hope that's constructive.

Maybe we are all just regular people who won't make history. There are billions of us.

Yesterday, when I was young,
the taste of life was sweet upon my tongue.
I teased at life as if it were a foolish game,
the way the evening breeze may tease a candle flame.

The thousand dreams I dreamed, the splendid things I planned
I always built alas on weak and shifting sand.
I lived by night and shunned the naked light of day
and only now I see how the years ran away.

Yesterday, when I was young,
so many happy songs were waiting to be sung,
so many wayward pleasures lay in store for me
and so much pain my dazzled eyes refused to see.

I ran so fast that time and youth at last ran out,
I never stopped to think what life was all about
and every conversation I can now recall
concerned itself with me and nothing else at all.

Yesterday, the moon was blue
and every crazy day brought something new to do.
I used my magic age as if it were a wand
and never saw the waste and emptiness beyond.

The game of love I played with arrogance and pride
and every flame I lit too quickly quickly died.
The friends I made all seemed somehow to drift away
and only I am left on stage to end the play.

There are so many songs in me that won't be sung,
I feel the bitter taste of tears upon my tongue.
The time has come for me to pay
for yesterday when I was young.

Funny to read this post today because a girlfriend and I were just talking about this the other evening.

In the days when I was young and smoked I would love to sit on the floor in the dark with my headphones on and listen to music until deep into the night.

Or if I woke up I would get up and sit crossed legged on the dining room table and stare out into the night for hours. There was a certain feeling of peace to be alone in the night contemplating my future fate or delving deep into my psyche and analyzing what made me "me".

The thing is... I now know what makes me "me". I know myself well and I like who and what I am and the way my world functions.

There is definitely a certain feeling of nostalgia when I think back on those times, so I hear ya. I didn't have much money, and sometimes things were very, very tight financially... but I aways managed.

I even sometimes wistfully remember the old apartment that I lived in, cracked floor and all with the rusty pipes. But that was then and this is now I remind myself. :)

Maybe you are just at that point where you are not yet sure you want to step gracefully into middle age. You know, maybe the kicking and screaming kind of thing. :) Or maybe you are just one of the lucky ones. One of those who had a great youth with wonderful memories and you are lucky enough now to be slightly bored. Perhaps if you examine your current life more closely, you will discover what you have now in your life was beyond your dreams back then. Perhaps you have exceeded them and have only to see it now.

I do know what you mean though. Where did that skinny, longing, inquisitive, naive young lady go? :) She made a comfortable, peaceful happy life for herself. She has more than she ever thought she would have... before it was only a dream..now it is a reality.

I hope maybe when you look more closely you will see that this is you too.

Cheers!

It really sucks growing old... it really does :(

Originally posted by Dunkirk101
It really sucks growing old... it really does :(

yeah it does...but the alternative sucks sooooooooo much more... ;)